hope || kim.t.h + jung.h.s

two

Hoseok sat next to Taehyung at lunch that day. He remembered it as a warm and blissful day, with perfect weather and clear, blue skies. The boys were all there, minus Yoongi and Seokjin, and everything was fine. Hoseok wasn't as depressed as he is now, he was enjoying this comforting moment. He was subtly flirting with Taehyung, too, but it was only obvious to Namjoon. Jungkook was making a few jokes hear and there, with Jimin laughing at all of them. Hoseok found himself enjoying the sparkle in Jimin's eyes every time Jungkook spoke; it brought a warmth to him. The group joked around and told stories of their day with energy. They laughed loudly and cheerfully, showing how happy one boy can be with his friends. Hoseok felt at home with them, even though he was millions of miles away from his real home in Korea.

Taehyung leaned on Hoseok for ease as they began to calm down. The boys began to quiet themselves and relax, noticing the period was almost over. Hoseok wrapped his arm protectively around Taehyung as he rested on him and started glancing around the room.
He felt happy to have Taehyung close to him like this. It made him feel as though he had a shot with his younger friend. As he looked around, he caught someone. Mina Smith, a thin, beautiful, American girl. Her blonde hair was short and wavy, her blue eyes were piercing, and her pale skin glowed. She was the definition of beauty. She was staring at Taehyung with a dreamy look in her eyes. This has been going on for weeks, too. Hoseok took a moment to compare himself to her. She met almost all beauty standards in America and Korea; America: thin, blonde, blue eyed, nice body shape, and then Korea: thin, pale, big eyes, and small lips. She was almost perfect. However, compared to Hoseok, there were many differences. She was a girl, and met beauty standards; Hoseok was a boy and didn't think he was any where near any standard. His long face just pulled his attractiveness out, or so he believed.

He decided to observe Mina for longer, and then she stood up. She walked with pride over to the table; she wasn't turning back at all. She pranced right in over to Taehyung, too, preparing to speak. "Taehyung," she began, grabbing everyone's attention. "will you go out with me?" Hoseok shriveled up inside. His eyes widened, his heart cracked, and he felt a huge pain in his stomach. His face grew warm, and he quickly pulled away from Taehyung. He wouldn't even look in their direction now. He bit his lip and bounced his leg, trying really hard not to cry. He felt devastated, just because he heard one question. Namjoon was the only one paying attention to Hoseok in this moment. The others were focused on Mina. Hoseok waited impatiently for his answer. Quietly, he whispered "Just answer." in Korean, just so only the boys understood. Taehyung nodded towards Hoseok's request and started thinking. Then he opened his mouth to speak. He shrugged.  "Sure, why not?" he replied. Mina lit up and cheered as the boys congratulated them. Hoseok sulked and took off from the table. He walked rapidly and sulked, making his way out of the cafeteria and letting his tears fall. He then rushed to a corner in a deserted hallway, one that no one goes to, and sat in front of all the empty lockers. He cried there, curled up and depressed. The pain he felt was horrible. His heart broke in two, his face was on fire, and all he could do was cry. All hope, all happiness, and all love for this place vanished within him, changing him ultimately. He couldn't help but whisper words of shame to himself, such as, "why couldn't you come out sooner" or "why weren't you born a girl". However, this whisper became cries, then screams. The tears fell, burning his cheeks. It felt as though they were scolding him and charring his skin. He didn't want to love anymore, but he didn't want to let go yet. He then heard quick footsteps nearing him, like someone was running towards him. He still cried, a bit louder this time. Through his blurry vision, he saw Jungkook approaching. "Hobi?" he called. Hoseok just sobbed loudly, shaming himself in his native language so no one else would understand. "Hobi, please cheer up. I'm here for you." was the last positive phrase Hoseok heard before he let the sadness consume his mind.