hope || kim.t.h + jung.h.s

four

Jungkook pulled Hoseok off of the cold wooden porch, walking inside their house. "Hello, Jungkook!" Mrs. Jung called out. Jungkook bowed as he walked in, Hoseok following behind. The house was small but cozy, very welcoming. Hoseok loved it here; he never wants to leave. However, even with such a sweet family, he can never bring himself to tell them how he really feels. Hoseok still felt upset, even though it's been months. Getting over your first love isn't easy; some say you never get over them anyways.
Anyway, Jungkook seemed all happy and cheery, prancing around with a huge smile on his face. However, he was acting slightly strange. Hoseok noticed the way he spoke and the way he moved around wasn't Jungkook's normal self. It was like the first stage of Hoseok's own depression, which means Jungkook could be falling into devastation as well. Hoseok was going to make sure that didn't happen, especially since he already feels horrible.  He felt ashamed of himself, he felt unworthy of all the wonderful things, therefore refused to let Jungkook feel that way as young as he was. He watched Jungkook carefully as he walked in and sat down on Hoseok's bed (observing his walk and facial expressions); he really did seem off.

"So what happened that led you to, you know, um..." Jungkook uttered, motioning to Hoseok's arms. Hoseok rolled his eyes, taking even more notice into Jungkook's emotions. "Never mind that, Jungkook. Something's wrong with you. I can feel it." Hoseok stated, eyeing Jungkook up and down. Jungkook just shook his head and leaned back on his arms. "I'm fine. I'm just a little shook with your behavior." he replied. He looked worried, like he was hiding something. However, Hoseok shrugged and took a seat in the bean bag on his floor. He closed his eyes and relaxed a bit, listening to the TV. He had a feeling that something didn't go right for Jungkook today. Hoseok was itching to figure it out. "How was it at Jimin's?" he asked, crossing his legs. It had to have been something with Jimin. He wasn't like this this morning, Hoseok told himself.

Jungkook had gone to Jimin Park's house the day before, spent the night, and seemed perfectly fine when he called Hoseok earlier that day, but when he came back from Jimin's his mood had shifted.

"Fine. We sat and watched movies, we talked about girls, and we played some video games. But when we talked about girls, Jimin seemed a little odd." Jungkook answered. Hoseok opened his eyes and sat up, staring at Jungkook in confusion. That statement was his first lead. "Jimin? Awkward when girls were brought up?" Hoseok exclaimed. Jungkook nodded slowly. "It's mind boggling." he claimed. Hoseok agreed, thinking long and hard about it. He sat slightly confused. "It honestly flustered me. Jimin and all." Jungkook mumbled. Hoseok looked up at Jungkook once more and stared at his friend. Hoseok felt something all blend together, everything beginning to make sense. He studied Jungkook's position: he sat slouched over with his legs crossed and his head slightly tilted down. Hoseok noticed a pink tint to his friend's face. "That conversation isn't what flustered you! Something else did too!" Hoseok shouted, pointing at Jungkook. Jungkook jumped back, shaking his head quickly. His and Hoseok's eyes were wide open with surprise, both taken aback. "W-wh-what? No! No! No! Ani! Ani! Ani!" Jungkook blurted. Hoseok let a sly smirk cross his face, looking at his friend with a mischievous look. "You like Jimin!" he exclaimed. It made perfect sense: getting confused when Jimin seemed uncomfortable about the topic of girls, feeling saddened after leaving his house, and just blushing over thinking about him. Jungkook fell into Hoseok's pillows and let out a scream. Hoseok just laughed in amusement watching his best friend die of embarrassment.

After a few moments of silence, Jungkook broke the silence. "Well, Yeah I do." he finally admitted. "I feel good around him, ya know? I think he's fascinating to look at. When I talk to him, when I see him, when I remember that I have the opportunity to talk to him everyday, I get all giddy and excited. He's like my universe." Jungkook spilled. He had a warm smile one his face as he stared off at nothing, blushing heavily. Hoseok could relate; he felt the same way about Taehyung. Hoseok let a smile cross his face. "It's kind of funny, if you think about it." he stated. Jungkook looked at him questioningly. "You just blurted out to me exactly what I feel about Taehyung." Jungkook nodded, agreeing. "It's just that Taehyung hangs out with Mina everyday now, and I can't hang out with him." Hoseok mumbled, dropping his smile. He looked down and sat in a slight sadness. Jungkook shifted uncomfortably, scratching his neck. Hoseok looked up at him in curiosity. "What's wrong now?" he asked, slightly concerned. Jungkook made eye contact with him and had a queasy expression on his face. "You haven't heard?" he asked. Hoseok stared in confusion, slightly puzzled. "Taehyung broke up with Mina just yesterday." Hoseok's eyes widened in surprise. "Jinja?" he screamed out. "I mean- really?"
"Yeah! He didn't tell you?" Jungkook asked while laughing. Hoseok let a huge smile cross his face as he sat in amazement. "This is... amazing! I might actually have a chance now!" he cheered. Jungkook and Hoseok broke out into a fit of laughter together, cheering and joking around. That feeling of true happiness took over Hoseok for once, making him feel good inside. Howver, in the midst of a joyful time, Jungkook's phone went off. Hoseok paused and waited for his friend to finish checking his phone. He laid back on his bean bag and smiled, sighing in happiness. "Yo, Hoseok. I gotta head home." Jungkook claimed. Hoseok made a look of disbelief, being able to tell Jungkook was lying. "Jungkook, you aren't good at lying, but go ahead. I'll just chill out here." Hoseok replied, laughing. Jungkook looked at him with concern. "Are you sure you won't, ya know?" Jungkook asked, referring to his arms. Hoseok laughed and looked at him with an honest look in his eyes. "I promise." he said. Jungkook went out the door, saying his goodbyes to everyone. Hoseok sat and smiled. However, something sad still lingered inside him. He still doubted himself in many ways. He started overthinking things at that moment, letting the sadness cloud him again. "Am I good enough?" he whispered. "Can I even make him gay?" he asked himself. He sat up, staring at the wall. It was like a feeling of realization hit him. "Does he even want to talk to me anymore?" he whispered, thinking deeply.

He sat in deep thought for a good few minutes. He kept asking himself questions while he stared at his ceiling, drifting off into the void of his mind. He didn't hear the sink running in the kitchen, he didn't hear his parents sharing sweet words, and he didn't hear his TV, or his phone. His vision was blurred too, making him forget where he was. He was so lost in thought, it almost looked like he was dead.

"Mrs. Jung! Is Hoseok home?" someone asked. Hoseok suddenly popped out of his thoughts, snapping into reality. He looked around, hearing his name, and growing curious. "Eomma? Did you call for me?" he called out in his native language. His mother replied with a no, and then said; "Kim Taehyung is here!" Hoseok widened his eyes. He didn't know if he should've felt terrified or relieved, so he just curled into a ball on his bean bag. "Hoseok!" Taehyung called, walking into Hoseok's room. He had a smile on his face and a hand in the air, looking as happy as ever. Hoseok popped up and smiled as bright as he could, happy that Taehyung was there, but there was a slight glint of pain in his eyes.