This chapter isn't talking about things like cerebral pasley or multiple sclerosis, but mental disorders that could develop during teenage years.
Suicidal thoughts:
Suicide is not a topic to be taken lightly, I know that. So many people have been affected by suicide, whether or not it was a sibling, a cousin, or a friend lots of people have been hurt by suicide. But it is a different story when you, yourself, are having suicidal thoughts. I can relate because I've had thoughts like that before, and I understand not going through with it because you don't have the courage.
Trust me, it's a good thing you don't have the courage. Many people care about you, even if you don't see it or notice it. In one of the previous chapters I asked why you were depressed, many people said it was their mind telling them they aren't perfect, telling them they aren't worth it.
I can tell you that I feel alone, I feel abandoned, and I feel like I have no one to talk to, but this isn't about me. It's not easy making friends, but it feels easier to loose them. One day you could be laughing and having the time of your life, then the next, you're a complete stranger. It's hard to believe that things can change in the blink of an eye, sometimes literally.
It's natural human nature to feel the need to have someone. Going the scientific route: humans are pack animals.
When we see something we don't understand, we feel afraid.
What does all this have to do with suicide?
My personal problem is the need to feel loved. I, and I'm sure most of you, are teenagers. We don't know who we really are yet. We are confused, you may not notice, but we're still developing, figuratively and physically, if we let ourselves go too early, we won't reach full potential. Whether or not you believe me, there is a future for you. We don't know what it is yet, but it's there. Remember that quote "life is B - D Birth to Death, but what's between B and D? It's C, that's Choice" A way to interpret that is the choice of getting your future, other cutting it off before you get there. Your choice could bring you straight to D.
Some people think that imagining your own world will help, it might, but it could develop schizophrenia.
Schizophrenia is actually something you could develop. One way is if things aren't going well, you could invent a world in your head and use it to help you escape your problems. That is okay, but if you stay there for too long, you could forget what reality really is. Loose the ability to differ between reality and your world. When you finally see reality, it brings you down even more, because you realize it's nothing like your fantasy world.
You'll become even more depressed and come closer to getting the courage.
...
These are two quite major ones, I'm not saying they are top two though. If you want to know if you are beginning to develop a mental illness is if you separate yourself from people, if you don't reflect other people's emotions, or if you feel them too much.
Separating yourself may come from you feeling alone. If you feel alone you'll get the sense that you are. You'll start pushing people away. People will try to help you, but you won't notice it. Reflexively if someone gets too close, relationship wise, you'll start pushing them away. Also, you will notice yourself hating people more, even before knowing them properly. To help you, is to recognize when someone want to help you, let people in, accept new friends, and give people a chance.
Not reflecting other people's emotions means if a friend's mom dies for example, you'll probably comfort them, but you won't feel sympathetic. Basically, you won't feel what others feel. To help, you could recognize what happened and think about it. How would you feel if you were in that situation. It doesn't even have to be bad things either, maybe your parent got a raise at work, feel happy for by recognizing that what happened was a good thing.
Feeling people's emotions too much is some thing else. Using the friend's mom example again. You would cry too much, even if you barely knew the mother. This could show that you are scared or paranoid. Perhaps you picture that what happened to your friend's mom happened to yours, therefore, you feel the actual impact of loosing a parent. Or you lost a parent already, and are not fully over it, so it would feel like loosing the parent all over again. Something to help is to reassure yourself that everything is okay. Check the locks on your doors if it makes you feel better. If you lost a parent or loved one, a way to get over them is to think about the good things and cry about them if you must, basically let it all out. Even if you are alone in your room.
Thanks for reading, I hope this helped even just a bit. And remember, people care about you, even if you don't see it.
