Hush (WATTYS 2017)

Chapter 1- Hush

I sit here, alone, in a dingy attic. The floors and made of rotting wood. The walls all the same.

I sit in a corner. With nothing but my thoughts. They eat away at my mind. Slowly, painfully driving me to insanity.

Maybe I am insane.

Maybe... just maybe, this isn't real. This is all some twisted, vivid dream my mind has conjured up.

If that's the case, I've gone mad no questions asked.

I pinch my arm. Sadly, it's not a dream. These purple bruises are real. These blood stained clothes are real. My shattered innocence is real.

Everything is real.

-

When I wake up, I hear the front door shut. They're home. Probably angry they haven't found anything. Or hungry.

Or horny.

I silently pray they're not horny. I can't take it anymore. Every time it hurts.

I wait, silently as always, for a punishment I don't deserve. I've done nothing wrong. I never do anything wrong. They just... decide I do.

Maybe me living is what I'm doing wrong. Maybe, I was a mistake.

The moon goddess made a mistake. She knows it, so she gives me this. This abuse. She made a mate for every boy and girl, except me. My mate is nonexistent.

I don't have one. I just know it.

How can you have a mate if you don't have a wolf?

Yeah. I know. A werewolf without a wolf? It's unfathomable. But I'm positive the wolfsbane killed her.

I just wish-

"Oh Ariana!" My thoughts are interrupted by someone yelling. The door to the attic opens, and in comes Carl.

He has greasy, dark blonde hair down to his trapezoids. His blue eyes are dull. His lips are thin and chapped. He's tall, but has little muscle. String bean.

"I hope you're ready for some punishing, yeah?" No. he stalks over towards me and grabs my wrists.

Forcing me up, he pushes me against the wall. He takes the chain attached to the rotting wall and cuffs me too it. I hold in my cries of pain. Of course they chose silver.

I close my eyes and wish for death. I wish death would just take me in his arms and carry me to mercy.

Hot tears make their way down my cheeks as he enters me.

•

The next day I wake up. Alone again.

I sigh.

Feeling pressure in my bladder, I stand up to use the restroom. Once I take a step, I wince. Memories from yesterday come rushing back. It always hurts. But yesterday was so much more rough, he had to have been really pissed off. I wonder who pushed him to that limit.

I walk to the small bathroom in the attic. He gave me a toothbrush and tampons. That's it. I get one shower a month. He says he doesn't want me to smell bad while he fucks me.

I look around the powder room. Just a dingy toilet, a dirty sink. And rotting wood plank walls. Lavish, isn't it?

A dusty mirror hangs over the sink. I take the time to look at myself. I used to be pretty... beautiful even. Glowing skin, bright green eyes, smooth lips, shoulder blade length peanut colored hair.

Now? I look malnourished, I have dark circles under my eyes, my green eyes are dull and lifeless, my lips are chapped, and my hair... greasy and down to the small of my back.

I take the toothbrush and put on some tooth paste. I brushed my teeth and continued to look at myself.

Are my parents still looking for me? Is my pack? I doubt it. I'm not worth it.

I sigh.

Tears spring to my eyes. I can't take this anymore. I'm giving up on everything. Death is the only way I can think of to release my pain.

I collapse onto the floor and sob. Loudly.

After ten minutes of constant sobbing I hear a banging on the floor. Then a loud "Shut up!" I put my hand over my mouth to muffle my sobs.

Moon goddess, I know I'm your mistake but please set me free.