Guffin'

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A look of concentration

has appeared upon your face,

precursor to an odour foul

that soon will haunt the place.

For now I know that beans for tea

was silly to have done,

as now your evil stomach

is about to have its fun.

It's guffin’ time, the rumble starts

and you, we know, are Queen of Farts.

The dog has quickly run away

though he's quite bad we have to say.

If farty dog has left the room

we know that things will be bad soon.

And here it comes, the awful stench

from the rectum of the guffin' wench,

who had too many beans for tea,

mind you she had the same as me.

So minutes later here we sit,

stinking like a beany shit,

'cos it's guffin' time again

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