kisses and freckles (eddie redmayne oneshots)

Nineteen: Try Not to Enjoy It Too Much

Never in a million years did I think I would be comfortable in front of a camera. My love of film made me sure I would be somewhere in the movie industry, but I always thought maybe a writer or music composer - never in a million years could I imagine acting. But once I got into it, which had only been fairly recently, I discovered a part of me that wasn't so shy, a part of me that could be easy going and comfortable by becoming someone else entirely.

That being said, there were things I still hadn't done before in front of the camera. Being nearly naked and getting all hot and heavy with another person was one of those things. Now, sex wasn't the issue. The issue would be the lack of clothing and the amplitude of people. They cut down the extra people as much as they could, but there were still multiple people mulling about set - which, might I add, was an open field. We were supposed to be having sex in a field, and it wasn't even 5 in the morning yet.

Eddie hadn't said a single word about it to me. I didn't know what to do with that information. Was it a blessing or a curse not to have to discuss it? I couldn't tell. He was seemingly chipper and normal (as normal as Eddie got) throughout the filming yesterday, which made me nervous about feeling nervous. This was something an actress had to do. It wasn't a big deal. Why was I making it such a big deal?

When the timing finally came around and we were ushered in front of the cameras, Eddie finally looked nervous for the first time, making me feel a bit better. "Scenes like this are always a little bit weird." he said quietly, giving me a shy smile as our make up got finishing touches. "But we're friends, right? It's just me. You can tell me if you're too uncomfortable, alright? Don't be nervous." he added, nudging me and making my heart swell. I rolled my eyes though, but inside was still freaking out. The thing was, Eddie and I were friends, but lately I had been... paying him too much attention. Finding him on my mind when he shouldn't have been. Finding myself looking forward to seeing him when I showed up to work everyday, missing him when we were done. Noticing the nice way he smelled or smiled or how cute his little jumpers were. I had a big, raging, fourth-grade crush on this guy. And now I had to strip to my underwear and pretend to have sex with him in front of an audience.

"Just try not to enjoy it too much." I joked as the makeup artists left and we took our place. Eddie gave me a wink.

"Alright! The scene Eddie's been waiting for all his life! Let's do it." the director, David, called out above the quiet hum of chatter. Eddie's ears went red as he cried out.

"Hilarious, David, really." he muttered, giving David a look. David just grinned in response, counting us down before calling action.

Eddie and I slipped into character quickly, the fading red in Eddie's ears becoming unnoticeable in the early dawn light. I studied Eddie's features as he tenderly grabbed my hand, lifting it between us as he tenderly played with the tips of my fingers in his. God, it was already hard to keep this acting up and not burst into a fit of shyness. I kept my expression affectionate and hesitant like I was supposed to, even as my hands gravitated to the sides of his face while his found the curve of my waist. His nose brushed mine and I breathed in sharply. Could he hear my heartbeat from how close he was? Could he feel my heavy pulse in my fingertips? Had I broke out in a sweat yet?

"Alright, cut." David called out. Fuck. It was my fault wasn't it? Did I just imagine the extra millisecond Eddie spent wrapped around me? Eventually he pulled back, but his hands stayed on my hips. "Eddie? Where'd you go? Yes, Thomas and Lily are loving and affectionate and what's between them is real, but they're also a little hungry for it, right? This has been a long time coming. You two were being a little too loving, too affectionate. Be a little hungry for her, got it?" he asked. I wanted to die right then and there. We were being too loving and affectionate?