We Didn't Agree To This

What's your plan?

Stevie remained quiet. Lindsey didn't push her, waiting for her to speak, but she didn't know what to tell him. She knew that there had to be a serious reason for Lindsey to bring the baby back with him. The fact she wasn't screaming though, was a good sign in Lindsey's mind. He walked towards the couch and sat down, while Stevie's eyes followed his every move. 

"Say something, please." The silence was killing him. From Lindsey, Stevie looked to the boy in his arms. "Don't be angry at him, he didn't do anything."

"I'm not." She said at last. "I'm shocked. I don't understand why he is here."

Lindsey thought this was his permission to speak and explain. "Like I said, I drove to Carol's, with clothes for the baby and a grocery bag. I could hear him screaming through the door, while I stood waiting, but Carol didn't let me in. I tried to open the door and found it unlocked. I invited myself in and the state of that apartment... it smelled, it was messy, it was disgusting. I went to look for them and I eventually saw Carol lying on the bed, Jamie in his crib crying. I soon realized she was high. Steph, she was high as a kite and the baby hadn't been fed. I told her to take care of him and she said, she didn't want to. Once I finally forced her into making him a bottle, I fed him, because she told me she's no better at it than I am. I somehow managed to lull him to sleep, then I dragged her, almost literally, to another room, asking to explain what the hell happened. Carol said this poor baby is ruining her life, that she doesn't want him, that... that she should have had an abortion." Stevie gasped, not believing the things he was telling her. "I knew that as soon as I left, this baby would go hungry again, that she wasn't going to change him and soothe him to sleep. I know I had no right to just bring him home with me, but I couldn't just leave him there either, Steph. I couldn't."

Once again, Stevie grew quiet. She was processing everything Lindsey just told her and she couldn't comprehend, how a mother wouldn't love her child. Having had a miscarriage not that long ago, the memories of that day still haunted her and every time she would think about it, it would hurt her beyond belief. So, how having a perfect healthy little boy in her arms Carol could not love him?

While Stevie was deep in her thoughts, she still didn't miss how Lindsey was baby talking to the boy, who was reaching for something in the air with his tiny hands, as he seemingly listened to every word Lindsey said. She smiled at the sight in front of her, thinking that very soon he was going to be acting just like that with their own precious little miracle.

"What's your plan then?" Stevie asked after a while.

"My plan?" Lindsey raised an eyebrow, glancing at her. "I don't have one." He shrugged. "First of all, driving back home, I was hoping you wouldn't throw us out."

"Linds... How could you think that? It's not like you just decided to take him, you had to."

"I thought, well, Jamie is Carol's son. Not that long ago, I thought he might be mine as well and I remember us coming close to separation over the whole thing."

"Are you going to give him back?"

Shrugging his shoulders again, Lindsey truly didn't know. "She's a mess, Stevie. She's not mature enough to be a mother."

"And despite that, she is. Lindsey, we can't just keep her son, because we think she's not fit to be a Mom to him."

"Maybe we should do that. Until she sobers up and realizes Jamie is not here. If she does. If she understands what she's said and done, regrets it and comes to take her son back, then alright. But I'm not letting Jamie be around her if she's not about to clean up her act."

"I hear what you're saying, Lindsey." He sensed a 'but' coming. "But we are expecting a baby of our own in several weeks. I have no idea how to care for one and you want me to do so for two? Have you thought about that?"

"But those are not living conditions for a newborn, Stevie. He can't go back there. His life will be over before it started."

"Baby, I understand and I respect what you're doing right now, but... This is too much. I'm sorry. I look at you with him now and I'm pretty sure you would adopt him if Carol gave up parental rights." He didn't reply and Stevie's eyes went wide. "Oh my God, you would!"

"Steph, I've been around this boy for months. Taking care of Carol, I took care of him. I am already attached to Jamie and I can't change that. If Carol doesn't love and want him like she says she doesn't, then I am not about to give him back to her nor would I let him be a part of the system."

"It would have been different if you turned out to be the biological father. Now, Lindsey... now you're just taking this baby, because you're attached to him."

"I wouldn't if his mother wasn't a complete mess. I don't care for him, I don't love him - those were her words, Stevie. Don't you have at least a little bit of sympathy?"

"Don't do that. Of course I have sympathy, I feel horrible for this child, but is it really you, who's supposed to save him?"

"Well, I sure as hell am going to try."

It wasn't easy, but Stevie managed to move herself closer to Lindsey, as she wrapped her arm around his back, speaking calmly. "Linds, don't get me wrong, I think you're incredible for doing this, but I don't want you to just jump into it, like you did, thinking Jamie might be yours. I'm not say take him back right now, no. The nursery is finished, so we have a crib for him to sleep in and I see you've brought a bag, with his things, so we'll be fine for a little bit. All I'm asking you is don't go drawing up adoption papers yet." Kissing him on the cheek, she said. "I love you. I know how you can get, when you care about something or someone." Lowering her eyes, she saw that Jamie was asleep. "Maybe you should lay him down and let him rest."

Lindsey didn't say anything, standing up, as he then went upstairs, leaving Stevie alone. Sighing heavily, she rested against the back of the couch. It seems like they had just made up and it felt like they once again had something to fight about. She didn't want the boy to suffer in anyway, but was she ready to be his mother? Because she was sure that Lindsey was ready to be his father.