Hold on till may | kellic

7.

Kellin's POV

So I told Vic about my 1 week suspension..

He didn't take it very well. I've never seen him this upset before. I feel so bad, it's all my fault. The suspension, the hospital.. everything. I bet Vic wishes he never met me now. And I wouldn't blame him.

I guess the good news in this whole mess is that Vic's okay and he's being let out tomorrow. 

It's good that's it a Friday. He'll have time to recover over the weekend, and I can take care of him. That might make me feel less guilty, I guess. 

It's currently 11.30 and me and Vic are still talking. We're watching random Youtube videos. It's good to see him laughing and joking around again. It killed me to see him look so fragile and helpless earlier.

Vic looked up to me and said 'I love you Kells' My stomach did backflips and I could feel myself blush. No matter how many times he calls me 'Kells' i'll never be able to stay calm. 'I love you too' I replied giving him a quick kiss.

The nurse knocked and walked in. 'You should let him get some rest now.' She said, looking at me. I nodded and lay down on the camp bed I bought in so I could be with him. 

Vic fell asleep pretty quickly but I didn't even get a minutes sleep. I was thinking. Thinking about Vic. How horrible it must have been. He must have been so scared. I started crying quietly to myself. But the crying was getting louder. I didn't want to wake Vic but I couldn't control my sobs.

Vic sat up. 'What's wrong babe?' He asked, full of concern. 'Nothing' I said but my sobs got the better of me and I burst out crying, losing control of myself. Vic looked concerned. 'Babe, tell me.' He said looking worried. I started crying even more. I don't deserve him.

'I-i-' I started but I couldn't get the words out through my crying. 'I don't deserve you Vic! It's all my fault your here. I'm so sorry!' I blurted out. He looked shocked. 'If you don't want me anymore,' I said. 'I'll leave. I'll leave forever!' I screamed. 'NO!' Vic screamed back, making me jump. 'Kells, never, ever, say that again!' He said, his eyes glistening with tears. 

'Kells,' Vic started. 'Please get some sleep.' He said. 'You've been awake all night.'  He finished. 'H-How  do you know?' I said my voice still shaking from my sobbing fit. He was asleep.. How would he know I was awake? 

'Kells, I wasn't alsleep. I was worried about you. I knew you still blamed yourself and I wanted to make sure you were okay.'  He said, looking at me. 'Vic..' I whispered and hugged him. I love him so much.

Vic's POV

Kellin still blames himself for what happened. He was awake all night. I feels so bad for him right now. 

I still haven't figured out how i'm going to get through a week of school without him. I would skive, but the teachers aren't stupid. They'll know. A full goddamn week. I don't know if i'll cope.

I suppose the thing that will keep me going is knowing that he'll be there when I get home. Yeah, i'll be able to look forward to that. I smiled and lay there, staring at the ceiling. I turned my head to the right to see if Kellin was still awake. His eyes were shut. So I guess he was asleep. 

I tried to think of some good comebacks for Danny and his mates. But they were all lame. I'll just ignore them. 

I'm not sure if will be able to put up with them though. I kept thinking of yesterday. He tried to kill me... and when he finds out he didn't succeed, he'll be so angry. I told the police and the hospital that I couldn't see who did it. I know it's stupid but.. If Oli got arrested, all his friends would still be there. And i'll have them to answer to.

I thought about leaving a note for Kellin. And doing what Danny keeps telling me to do. Jump of the bridge. It's so tempting. But I don't want to leave Kellin. I'd feel too bad. Even though i'd be dead...

Maybe I should. I'm sure Kellin will get over it. He'll probably be glad. No little, irritating Vic there anymore. 'But he does love you.' I told to myself.  

It will be alright. I'll get through this.. I think..