Hold on till may | kellic

10.

Kellin's POV

I hope vic's okay. It kills me, not knowing. I keep texting him but I think he's turned his phone off. There's no point worrying, it won't change anything. I Keep telling myself. But I can't stop worrying about him. I really hope he's not hurt.

It's 2.30 so he'll be home in about 1 hour. I'm going to go to the shops and buy him a massive pack of Skittles. That might cheer him up.  I should be back in time.

I took the car because I couldn't be bothered to walk.

 I locked the car and walked in the Shops in search of a share pack of skittles. 

Vic's POV

Okay. Last lesson. It'll be alright. School will be over in about 30 minutes. It's an alright lesson. Art with Mr Jacobs. But I usually have it with Kellin, so that makes it seem bad. 

I'd just painted a picture of a tree on a hill, in a storm. I was very proud of it and Mr Jacobs said it was one of the best paintings he's ever had in this year group. Mr Jacobs likes me so that's a bonus. It's probably because I'm the only one who isn't talking to other people when he's trying to explain things.

I was just adding finishing touches to the branches of the trees and outlining the clouds when Oli came over. 'Oh no!' He said sarcastically and knocked over the water pot. It went all over my work, which I spent the last dozen of art lessons doing. A wave of anger hit me and I had to restrain myself from punching the git. 

I suppose the good thing is that Mr Jacobs gave Oli an after school detention. 

The bell rang for the end of the day and I almost sprinted out of the classroom. I got shoved by Oli and he stamped on my foot with his heel, but that didn't stop the joy that was filling up inside of me. I was going to see Kellin now. Thank God for that.

The bus journey home was awful. Someone spat in my face, someone pulled my hair, they stole my snapback and drew things on it. A waste of $11, I only just bought it.

Finally the bus pulled up outside my house, I was on the brink of tears. The journey was one of the worst ones so far.

It's okay, I thought to myself. You're seeing Kellin now.

I opened the front door. He wasn't in the living room. 'Kells?' I called out? No reply. I checked my phone. 16 Missed calls. The thought of the worst hit me straight away. Was he okay? Where was he? Why isn't the car here?

I phoned him. He picked up straight away. 'Hi, Vic. I'm so sorry, I had to go to the shops, but now i'm stuck in traffic.'  I sighed and sigh of relief. He was okay. 'That's okay.' I said. 

He said goodbye and hung up.

 He was going to be home in roughly 10-15 minutes.

Suddenly the day all came crashing down in my head. Everything that happened today. Everything that happened in the past week. This was never going to end. I dropped to the floor and started to cry. 'Is it even worth it anymore?' I sobbed to myself. I ran upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom. I rummaged through my drawers. Where was it? 

'NO!' I screamed. 

'No!' I repeated

It was gone, I'd flushed it the other day. I collapsed on the floor. I was screaming into my jumper and punching the floor. I needed it so much. I ran down stairs and went into my school bag. Something. Anything. I found an old blade and the bottom of my bag. I remember this. I'd completely forgot about it. I ran back upstairs into the bathroom. 

Just one I thought to myself.

Trigger warning.. kind of

I ran the blade across my skin once, letting blood flow out. I felt electricity run through my body. I wanted to, but I couldn't stop there. Another one, and another. I kept going until my wrist was a bloody mess and I had no space left. 

I stared into space for a while.. just thinking. Then I got up and looked for a damp cloth.

I cleaned it up and wrapped a bandage around it.

Part of me felt really good, alive. But the other part felt really bad. I just broke my promise to Kellin, and I hated myself for it.

Kellin's POV

I finally managed to get home about 15 minutes after Vic called me.

He looked so happy to see me but he looked a bit.. kind of shifty.

I guess he probably just had a crap day. I asked him how it was but he just shrugged and gave me a hug, he nearly suffocated me with the force he was squeezing me with.

I'm still not sure everything right.. I mean he must have had a bad day at school but.. I don't know. He looks a bit guilty. I keep asking if he's okay and he says he's fine.  

I hope he is okay.

Skittles I thought to myself. That's the reason I wasn't here when he came home.

'Vic?' I said to him. 'Yeah?' He asked looking at me.

'I gotcha some skittles' I said smiling. He smiled back at me. He took the packet, poured a couple in his hands and one by one popped them into his mouth.

Weird. I thought. He usually just shoves them in his mouth. He passed the packet to me. No, he would've had much more than that if he was okay.

Something's happened.

And i'm going to find out what. I just want him to be okay.