Hold on till may | kellic

11.

Vic's POV

A bright light was shining in my face. I squinted and slowly opened my eyes. The light was on. 'Kellin?' I muttered. He walked in the room. His eyes were all red and puffed up. Tears were streaming down his face. I got out of bed in a flash. 'Babe! What's wrong?' I asked, upset. He just started crying even more. 'I'm the one that should be asking you that.' He replied, his voice shaking. I'm so confused. 'W-What?' I stuttered. He looked down at my wrist. Oh god, I forgot about that  I thought to myself. Guilt washed over me and my eyes began to fill up with tears.

'You p-promised.' Kellin cried, holding up the blood stained razor. I must have left it on the floor. I lost control and collapsed to the floor, screaming, crying, slamming my fists against the floorboards. I was screaming so loudly I thought my ears were going to bleed. My hands were shaking and I couldn't breath. I felt a warm hand grab me. Kellin wrapped his arms around me. 'It's okay babe.' He whispered in my ear. 'I'm so sorry!' I screamed at the top of my lungs. 

I was screaming words that didn't make sense, but I didn't care. I broke my promise to Kellin. He was hugging me tightly and whispering 'shh' in my ear, trying to calm me down. It just made me cry even more. I don't deserve him. He cradled me in his arms until I calmed down.

When I did finally calm down he asked 'Is it bad?' I sniffed and muttered 'Kinda..' 

He looked upset. 'I tried,' I said, 'I flushed one away, I thought it was my only one.. then I found one in my bag and I- I'  I started to cry again. 'It's okay babe' Kellin whispered soothingly in my ear. He rolled my sleeves up and stared at the blood stained bandage wrapped around it.  He started to unravel it. 'Please, don't..' I said to him. It looked awful. I'd hate for him to see it. He looked so shocked when he saw them. But then he moved his head next to them and kissed them, gently, so it didn't hurt. I was trying to stop myself from crying again.

'Whats the time?' I asked, remembering I had to go to school. 

'6.30am' Kellin answered. Okay, I had enough time to have a shower and get ready. 'You don't have to go in today, if you don't want to.' Kellin said, still worried. 'I'd love to not go in, but they'd know I would be with you.' I said to Kells, sadly.

I walked into the bathroom and got in the shower. The burning water stung my cuts like mad. I let out a loud cry. Kellin came bursting through the door, panic on his face. 'What!?' He asked. 'It just stung a bit.' I reassured him. He nodded slowly and shut the door.

He cares so much. I can't believe I broke my promise.

Kellin's POV

I'm so upset Vic broke his promise. I'm not upset because he promised me he wouldn't do it and he 'betrayed me' or anything like that. I'm upset because I just really hoped he'd never do that to himself again. I've literally never seen him like that. It's absolutely heart breaking. I keep having flashbacks. The screams, cries, tears.  I can't imagine what he's going through right now. 

He's so brave. He's going back to school. He keeps saying how he doesn't deserve me but to be honest, if it wasn't for me and my stupidity, I would be going to school with him still, making sure he was okay. So if anyones to blame, it's me. 

He straightened his hair again this morning. I love it when he does that. I watched him sadly as he got on the bus, and it drove off. I hope he was okay today.

6 Hours later....

I'm having a shower but it keeps going cold! I keep glancing at the clock to see if Vic will be home yet. 4.20pm It read. He should be home now. I got out of the shower, got changed and walked down the stairs. No sign of Vic. Strange I thought. He would usually be home by now.

I was just about to turn round and go back upstairs until suddenly, something caught my eye. My heart nearly came out of my mouth. No I thought to myself.

A small note was left on the kitchen counter. Folded up. I slowly approached it. My heart beating out of my chest. I unfolded it. It read:

Dear Kells,

 I'm really sorry, I can't do this anymore. I love you so much and I know you love me too, but it's all just getting too much. The constant comments from people at school, the bullying, the pain, the broken promise. I just don't feel anything is going to ever get better.

I'm so sorry Kells, I've never loved anyone as much as I loved you, I still do.

But I can't do this anymore. Please forgive me. 

I'll love you, forever and always.

Vic xxx

No. No. NO. NO!

My heart sank to the bottom of my chest.

I had to get to him in time. 

I had to stop him.