How to Punch Soren McKinin | ✓

28. burnt tears

J A Y

Henry poured hot mint tea into my cup. I picked it up, bringing it to my lips. Blowing on the liquid, I watched Henry out of the corner of my eye put a tablet in his mouth before taking a sip of his tea.

"What's the pill for?" I asked, putting the teacup on the table, realizing it'd be way too hot for me to drink. Henry's face screwed up as the hot water burned his mouth.

He smiled painfully, "Watch the tea, it's hot. And it's simply panadol." I watched him intently. I may have not liked Ms. Daisy but I knew she didn't know what she was doing, and that was comforting.

Henry on the other, you could just feel him tearing walls down. His gaze sent shivers down my spine because I knew he could read me like an open book. The plan was to beat him at his own game, until my father signed the damn paper to relieve me from these counselling sessions.

I put my hands in my lap and stared at him contently, "Did you look at Soren with that same expression?"

His lips seemed to permanently in a soft smile, "Why do you ask?"

"I wanted to know how he reacted to it." I sat forward in my seat, watching him carefully.

"He counted the seconds until the session ended." His words stiff, he put his head to one side, "Again, why does it matter to you?"

"When your friend does counselling due to his anger issues, you wonder how he reacts to someone like you," I put up my hands quickly, "When I mean someone like you, I mean someone who's job is to get to know you and your life story. He—he'd just react... Socially unacceptable."

"Soren's a good kid, we both know that." He watched me drink my tea, "How's your mother?"

"I wouldn't know." I shrugged my shoulders, "I haven't gone into the hospital for a while."

"Are you planning on going soon?" Henry took my teacup off the table and placed it next to the kettle.

It was in that moment I realised that the only way Henry would sign to my father that I didn't need counselling anymore was if he thought I'd made good process.

I sighed "There's no point... She just stares out that same window, muttering the same words. I don't think she even knows I'm there."

"Does she know you are?"

"Henry, she's tied down on a bed. She's allowed to walk around to get exercise. The only thing she says is 'just one more, please.'" I held his gaze, "Why would she remember me?"

"Because you're her daughter?" He offered.

I shook my head, "She doesn't know me, Henry. She doesn't know who dad is, she doesn't know what snow or rain is. She's like a newborn baby craving milk but instead of milk it's drugs."

He swallowed and leant forehead, "Are you okay?"

I blinked, unable to answer I held his gaze. I couldn't remember the last time someone had asked me that.

It was probably the look in his eyes, in complete sincere concern. He wasn't doing to know the gossip because he felt bad for me, he honestly was asking. That's probably the reason I bit my lip painfully hard, and felt the tears swell in my eyes. At this point I could barely see him anymore.

I nodded, "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Sometimes you just have to say you're fine because people need you to be fine." I shook my head at him offering tissues, I refused to let him see me fully cry.
"Soren?"

I swallowed the hard lump in my throat, "He can't—I won't let him have a broken friend. Which I'm not. I just—I know him..."

Henry shook his head slowly in disagreement, "Jay, you don't have to be strong all the time. He's a big boy, he can take it. You being human won't crush him. We're all broken in some way—" I stood up, my chair smashing against the wooden floor.

"No," I pointed a finger at him backing away slowly, "This is different. These are the people that you have to do stuff for, and they never find out how you really feel, but it's okay because you do it so they can be happy."

"This isn't healthy." Henry stood up gently and walked towards me, putting his hands up slowly, "I think you should sit back down."

I shook my head, "I don't need your sympathy. I am fine."

"Jay, you're not. You can't let it boil up in the pit of your stomach hoping you won't feel it."

I grabbed his office door handle and pulled it open, "End of conversation, I'm not coming ba—" I stopped when I looked into the hallway, Soren sat on the couch sipping a mango smoothie, another one in his lap.

He looked up at me and stood up quickly, the drink that previously was in his lap went flying while he dropped the other in his hand.

"Why the fuck are you crying?" He grabbed my cheeks for a second before brushing past me into Henry office, I gripped his arm.

"Please, don't do anything Soren. I just want to go home..." He watched me carefully before walking backwards slowly.

"I installed soundproof glass." Henry called after us as Soren wrapped his arm around my neck, we walked away from him and the smoothie which slowly seeped through the carpet.

"The mango smoothie was shit anyways." Soren joked weakly as my hair fell over my face. What he didn't notice were the tears rolling down my cheeks because I could finally cry around someone I trusted.

-

*gets first hate comment*

*deletes comments and sighs in happiness*

"Piece of shit."

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