How to Punch Soren McKinin | ✓

45. A candle in the wind

S O R E N

It had been a week since the funeral and for once, I sat with Jay alone in my bed, holding her close to my chest. For once, no one came in, no one got hurt, no one spoke.

She'd fallen asleep on my chest, one leg draped over me. Though I longed for sleep, the ceiling had become a good friend of mine.

I looked at the white paint. Weeks ago I had thought about how I'd die looking at the same paint. I'd be begging for air as my eyes slowly shut and I'd let myself cry as I stared at that rough paint.

Now, I look at the ceiling with a sense of peace as a girl with golden skin breathes softly onto my collarbone.

They always say "reach out"... find "help." I didn't want help, I didn't want to be known as the sick kid, I didn't want to force people to care about me. 

That is how Jay saved me, she did it with her eyes closed. It was just receiving a happy smile every time she walked by, the way her eyes lit up in joy as she laughed.

She made me want to live, to be as happy as she was. She didn't see me as kicked puppy, she saw me as person who just wanted to be alive once more.

Her hair tickling my nose, I brushed down the black locks, pulling her closer to me.

There was a knock on my door causing a deep loud sigh to echo the room, "10 minutes of peace, that's all I want!"

"Soren, honey. Did you forget what we're doing today?" My mother's voice chimed behind the wood door.

"I don't know, some boring shi--"

"We're coming!" Jay yelled, suddenly awake, leaving my side and making shiver in the process when her warmth followed her.

Christmas holidays were coming to an end and mom wanted to do something as a family before everyone became swallowed by school, work, and college. Jay came because I said she could; I never told her it was only meant to be family.

The grass, the road, everything was wet due the rapidly melting snow. The snow had never melted this fast. That's global warming for you.

"Sandra couldn't come?" Jay asked curiously, Red following the car in front of us which held the twins and parents.

He laughed slightly, "No, she's spending the next few weeks with her family. They didn't particularly like her spending Christmas with a white boy."

"It's been rough for you... both of you. Hasn't it?" She whispered. Jay probably wasn't expecting him to even hear her.

He shrugged, "You know people are true when they don't leave you through the rough times."
I slipped my hand into Jay's.

"Holy crap, look at that!" Red's voice was filled with concern, his knuckles whitening around the steering wheel.

Smoke billowed from a small wooden building; it seemed to be a preschool but I couldn't tell exactly.

"There's no firetrucks..." Jay whispered, her hand shakily covering her mouth, "Pull over--"

"Jay--"

"I said pull over !" She yelled, Red honked at my parents' car before pulling off.

Jay was out of the car before I could unbuckle my seatbelt. I don't know if I ran after her or with her but I couldn't lose her, Jay was running off adrenaline.

"Jay!" I could hear Colin screaming, chasing us across the small field to the burning school, a little country school.

He caught up to us, grabbing Jay around the stomach and pulling her into him.

Meeting eye contact with me and he yelled, "I can hear them screaming for help. Soren, hold Jay. I'll--"

I didn't hear him. One moment I was standing still the other I was running towards the building.

Though, I could hear Jay screaming over the cracklings wood and spitting flames.
In that moment, I found my reason to live, my purpose. To save those children.

Shattering the window my fist, coughing as smoke filled my lungs, stinging my eyes and forming a sandpaper like texture in my throat.
Pulling my hoodie up to protect my head from the flames, I held my jumper sleeve to my mouth. I could hear them, they were screaming.

Running through the flames, following the sound of their cries. Cries that led to me a back room, the door was on fire. Outside the door, inches from my feet lay a burning lady, crushed under a pierce of heavy wood.

My stomach churned as I gagged from the smell of burning flesh. I didn't see the key on her hand, didn't realise she'd lock them in there.

I kicked the door heavily as it crackled, taking a run up and bashing it with my shoulder, there was a popping noise as the wood split and the door fell apart.

I could barely see now, I couldn't breathe, my shoulder felt unattached.

My hand found a sweater and I grabbed it in a fistful, heaving the body into my arms. I heaved four children onto my shaking body, one of them unconscious or dead, I couldn't tell.

"Every--" I coughed instead of yelled before hoarsely whispering, "follow me."
There was a little hand gripping to the back of my pants, they were all holding hands, crying, coughing, stumbling.

I could see the exit but the roof creaked unsteadily, "Run!"

The little ones stumbled and I watched as they went into the light, I could hear the fire trucks faintly. Shoving the kids off my back and arms, watching them fall into the grass I turned around ran back through the smoke.

I could barely see at all, the ankles of pants caught on fire twice as I stumbled towards the room.

Looking through slits I saw the lump of a child in the corner, out cold or dead. Either way, I hobbled over to it, collapsing next to the small boy.

We can't make it out.

I pulled the boy into my chest, feeling his rib cage expand every few seconds, he was dying.
Somehow I managed to pull him into my hoody  jumper so the flames wouldn't scorch him as they were doing to me. It was just too hot.

I held that boy until everything went black.

J A Y

I couldn't see the body they wheeled out but I knew who it was.  I screamed and struggled against Colin to get to him but Colin turned me away not wanting me to see someone dead.

Albert was held back my several firemen as he wrestled to get to Soren, "NO, STOP! THAT'S MY SON! LET GO OF ME—THAT'S MY BOY--"