Soren McKinin; the disappointment of the family, the child his parents wished did not belong to them, the type fathers warned their daughters not to date.
Anger issues, a heartless brute that got into fights and saw the world as dark grey, helples...
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S O R E N
Water streamed down my back as I leant my head against the shower wall, one hand pressed against the tiles. It was searing hot against my skin, which would surely be flushed when I finally decided to leave the comfort of the glass walls.
Colin had stopped banging on the door yelling he needed piss and everything was silent besides the thundering sound of water.
Red had moved at that morning. All three of us boys skipping school to help, ignoring mothers pleads and fathers insensitive comments. It was a moment of goodbyes, we'd never been separated but as Red said, 'Stop with the glum faces, makes it look like you're actually sad I'm leaving. I'm only half an hour away.'
Taking a hot shower seemed to be the only way to let everything go. The amount of times I cried in that shower, a secret no one would ever know. I wasn't crying over him, no. Having no reason to cry I smashed my fist into the titles, feeling my knuckles split with the force.
"Stop crying," I growled quietly to myself, "stop--" my words faded as my hand slid down the wall.
I found myself sitting in the floor, my palms flat watching the heavy drops fall upon them. People said it'd be easy, easy to keep a smile on my face. I tried, I tired so hard. If I could smile, act happy then I would be able to convince myself that I actually was.
To say I wasn't happy in moments of time would be lying. It was when I sat alone in my room that the nightmares came back, my thoughts that I had pushed away.
I may not know a lot about living but I knew it wasn't living to smile during the day and cry at night. Guess it was better than before, now I lived with the sun and died at dusk.
The basement was no good, Buck had shut it down. He'd gone into rehab, giving up drugs after I told him what happened. After he almost killed me.
It was 1am meaning I couldn't call Jay, anyways what would I say to her? 'Hey, sorry to wake you but I want to kill myself. So yep, weather good down your end?'
Never liked the word 'depression'. Made me feel like I was sick and no one wanted a sick person because sick people either got better, infected you or died.
My phone vibrated on the sink, I looked up from my wrist and for no reason in particular I stood up. Exiting the shower, leaving deep puddles behind me with each footstep, grabbing my phone with wet hands. There was a photo attached.
My Ray is typing...
Sup dork face. I can't sleep, sooo I'm going to send pictures of my nails for this afternoon event ;) not that you care
