Ms. Popular

VII.

-Reunion-

Everything before 2010 seemed like a blurred mess to me. And my mess hit me real hard this time, probably more than ever.

He was back and I had absolutely no idea as to what to do with this new information. I saw him seated nervously on the sofa, waiting for my arrival as he chewed off his non existent nails. How did I know whether his nails were nonexistent from 5metres away? I was his younger sister and I was attached enough to know every bit of him without him actually telling me or me witnessing it in reality. After 10 seconds, he stopped chewing them and rested his head on the headrest and closed his eyes. He didn't know I was watching him, but something about his changed demeanour told me that he was now anticipating my delayed presence. So I walked up to him in careful steps.

I entered the living room to see 4 suitcases lying idly on the carpeted floor and my mother was looking everywhere but at him as my father rubbed her back to soothe her.

As if he smelt me in the air, he let out a loud breath and opened his eyes to look at me directly. "You're here. I thought you would never come." He smiled weakly at me which I imitated like a mimic.

However, on the inside, I felt numb. I felt as if I wasn't functioning in my body alright. Is this how it feels to have someone in front of you whom you really wanted to forget? He was dangerous for me and I was aware. Yet, I took that chance and sat comfortably on the sofa besides him. I kept my calm, looked him in the eye with an unknown feeling and spoke softly "Off course I would be here Akash, you're my brother. We do share blood after all." I sighed and turned my gaze from his eyes directly towards his wrists that led his tapping fingers on his thigh in an unknown urgency.

I noticed the scars but I didn't say a word about it. He saw that I noticed them and looked at me pleadingly, as if his scars held his remorseful secrets in them. I looked at him in understanding for a moment and turned to look towards my parents, who were now witnessing the tension and silence that ensued. My mother sighed softly and finally rose from her position, which I'm sure was too painful to hold on to for long. "What would you like to drink Akash?" She spoke lightly, almost in a whisper. He smiled faintly and slowly replied "Surprise me."

My dad got up as well and walked towards us "I'll give you guys some time and lend your mother a shoulder." He patted Akash's back and spoke again "Good to see you again." And left the room.

"I've got something to tell you." The two of us spoke simultaneously and our end was soon followed by silence.
"Go ahead." He spoke softly as I nodded.

"You provided my miserable self a reason to put the blame on when you left. Off course, you're yet to apologise for a lot of things but I'll put that aside for now because I forgive you. In fact, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Thank you for coming back, it does mean a lot to me." I let out a breath after I was done talking and continued to look at my now entangled fingers. They somehow provided me a comfortable warmth that this surrounding seemed to suck away from me. I felt safe as I knotted my fingers together a little more and tensed up my muscles in them. I think I needed this a lot more than I had anticipated.

"I'm sorry." He began after a while "Sorry for letting you and everyone else down and making you more miserable than you already have been. I was in a bad place so I hurt you and Aleena but gosh I was so wrong. I became more miserable after I had to leave you guys. It was really tough. I couldn't come in terms with what had become of me and what I was exactly doing, and that's why, I now have to wear these scars everyday. But I'm so sorry Aanya, I love you and you're my little sister and hearing about everything that happened to you, mom and dad because of Aleena was so tough for me. I ran away from everything and I realised that I'm a fool for my heart and identity lies within all of you. And that's why I'm here. I wish to be here as long as you want me to. And I want to be here in heart and mind, unlike what I did the last time. I'm sorry and I'm glad that you've forgiven me." He breathed out as he fought the urge to break into a cry that he didn't want me to witness. I gathered up the courage and slowly ran my fingers over his scars and looked him in the eye. He seemed to have calmed down as I did more of it. I finally spoke what I had been meaning to since I first saw them "Hey listen"
"Hmm" he opened his eyes to look at me.
"Just do me a favour, will ya?" I looked at him expectantly and he nodded in response "Anything."
I looked at his scars again and then back to his honey brown eyes "Please don't tell mom and dad that you hurt yourself like this when you were alone. It would kill them if they find out that all of their children have suicidal tendencies in them. It really would. So just don't. Please?" He held my hand and embraced me tightly. He sighed in my tresses and whispered "I love them too much to kill them like this."
I dug my face in his shoulders and whispered "Also, could you stay with me in my room? I really haven't had anyone with me since Aleena. It's a dark place in there, but yet, there's something soothing about all that darkness. Something better than what my mind leads me to every second, and I think, I would love to share that with you, for you need that solace too."
"I would love to share my dark thoughts and tendencies with you. You heal me like none Aanya." I felt him smile in my hair as his hug tightened a bit more.
"You too heal me like none, Akash. And I think I need a little bit of healing this time."