:•: autumn :•: a Josh Dun fan fiction

f.i.v.e

:•: autumn :•:

In that moment, all of my anxiety and fear disappeared. I was mesmerized by this human that seemed to understand me perfectly and yet looked as if he could beat me up. Although, after I looked closer, I could tell that his tough guy looks were only in his appearance. His soft, kind heart clearly shone through those chocolatey eyes. I couldn't help but stare at him, but I noticed he was doing the same thing back. I wondered how a complete stranger could seem so concerned about me. His presence brought me peace the way only Isabelle's hugs could. I noticed him about to speak. All the anxiety rushed back in as I pushed away from him.

"Are you ok?" Came the simple question from this stranger.

How do I reply to this? I'm obviously not ok, but I didn't necessarily want to talk about all of my problems with a complete stranger. But then again he didn't feel like a stranger. I felt like I could share anything with him and he would accept me for who I was.

Should I tell him? No! Autumn that's crazy. You don't even know his name!

"I-I'm fine" I stuttered.

Way to make a good first impression Autumn.

The stranger suddenly looked down in embarrassment. It was as if we both had realized how awkward this situation really was. We sat there in silence for what seemed like forever. I had to break this silence.

"I'm really sorry" I said too loudly. "I-I just kinda had a panic attack and had to get away and I didn't know where to go and I lost my friend..."

Crap not the tears. Not now Autumn please! No!! Why am I so emotional all the time? This is so embarrassing.

This time the stranger didn't put his arm around me, but instead just seemed to watch. I noticed he looked torn between wanting to comfort me but not wanting to upset me further.

"If it makes you feel better I have panic attacks too" he said.

I looked up, tears still streaming down my face. I felt a smile creeping across my face. I looked into his deep eyes and felt my fear wash away. He wasn't judging me at all.

"Thank you for comforting me" I whispered. "You have no idea how much it helped".

Now it was his turn to smile. My goodness did a smile look good on him! My heart completely melted and I felt my smile grow even larger.

"I'm glad I could help" he said. "I've been in that same place wishing I had someone to comfort me".

"I'm Autumn by the way" I said as I pushed my fingers through my hair awkwardly and stuck my other hand out to shake his.

"Nice to meet you Autumn!" He smiled.

That smile! Why did it make me feel this way? I didn't like a stranger!! That's crazy. I didn't even know his name and he's not even my type... wait, he never said his name.

"Umm what's your name?" I asked.

He looked a little surprised. That was odd.

"I mean, it IS normal to introduce yourself when someone tells you their name" I giggled.

He laughed. "I'm sorry! I'm Joshua".

Joshua. That's a nice name. OMG Autumn stop! This is ridiculous.

I blushed even though I hadn't said anything. I moved my eyes away from his face and began to look at the rest of him. He had some sort of shirt with a tree pattern on it... WAIT no that was a tattoo sleeve! I laughed to myself at my own stupidity. He was wearing a shirt that said "I want to believe" with an alien ship on it, black jeans with holes in the knees, and black vans. It was a simple outfit, but I had to admit he looked good. Really good.

I suddenly became aware of my own appearance.

"Oh my goodness I must look like a mess!" I exclaimed as I hurried to my feet.

He only laughed.

Crap that must mean he agrees. Way to go Autumn.

I felt the embarrassment rise in my cheeks as my face turned bright red. He seemed to notice right away and looked apologetic.

"You can use my bathroom if you want" Joshua offered.

I nodded my head and smiled my thanks.

I started to walk but was extremely shaken from my panic attack. I could feel my whole body shaking and tried to calm it as much as I could, but of course he noticed. I cringed at myself and how horribly awkward I was.

"Do you want to lean on me?" He asked with concern in his eyes.

I was shocked he wasn't repulsed by my anxiety and struggle to do even simple tasks. I began to lean on his shoulder and wrapped my hand around his arm.

HOLY CATS his arm is huge!!! Autumn you need to stop.

I started to shake more as I walked farther. From the corner of my eye I saw Joshua look at me extremely concerned.

Suddenly I felt myself being lifted into the air. I let out a little scream but then laughed when I realized what had happened. Joshua had swept me into his arms and was now carrying me with ease.

"I thought this would be easier" He laughed. "Hopefully you don't mind". He flashed that smile at me again.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled back at him, relieved to be off my feet. I felt my body relax as all the stress from the past... what has it been now? A couple hours? Half an hour? I had no idea how much time had passed.

Oh well!

We arrived at another bus and Joshua lightly set me down.

"Thanks" I smiled at him.

He opened the door for me and led me inside. I went into the bathroom and was mortified at what stared back at me in the mirror. Red puffy eyes with black mascara smeared all over my face was only the beginning. My dark lipstick was smudged around my lips and there were tear streaks in my supposedly "water proof" foundation. I realized I had lost an earring as well in my panic attack and looked down at my clothes to see them tear stained and wrinkled. I'm not sure I had ever looked worse in my life.

I sighed and began to get to work on my face. I dampened a paper towel and scrubbed my face as hard as I possibly could to try to get everything off. Eventually I did, but my face was extremely red from me rubbing it. I couldn't do anything about my clothes, so I just walked out of the bathroom.

Joshua was sitting on a coach eating something that looked like tacos.

"You didn't tell me I looked so awful!" I said, clearly embarrassed.

"I just thought it was the new look" Joshua laughed while taking another bite.

I smiled. Somehow he had a way to make me feel better about myself even in a horrible situation. I needed to get to know this beautiful person better.

What do you guys think?!?! Don't worry, I know they're still at the concert, I'll get to that next chapter. But do you guys have any suggestions for me to make it better? I'm thinking about doing a chapter from Josh's perspective, but I don't know if I should. What do you guys think? Anyways, thanks for reading!! I really have so much fun writing :)