:•: autumn :•: a Josh Dun fan fiction

s.e.v.e.n

:•: joshua :•:

"AUTUMN! AUTUMN!" I continued to scream as I gently shook her limp body.

I didn't know what to do. I never meant to cause her any pain. Guilt shook my body as I sat down next to her and put my head in my hands.

All I wanted to do was help her but I only made everything worse.

Story of my life.

I had only gone out for a quick walk when I saw her curled up next to Tyler's bus. I was shocked she had made it past the security guards in the first place and thought she was only another insane fan trying to get a glimpse of either Tyler or me. I quickly realized that wasn't the case at all, and that she was clearly very upset.

I don't know why exactly, but something drew me to go comfort her. I guess I felt like I could relate to her as I often used to have regular panic attacks before I met Tyler.

As I walked up to her quietly, I noticed she was extremely gorgeous. She had light blonde hair that went down to her collarbones in the front and was a little bit shorter in the back. She had bangs that just brushed her beautiful long eyelashes. She had a petite body, yet looked fairly tall. Her long legs were curled up against her chest as she breathed hurriedly in order to try to calm herself.

I sat down next to her and saw her body grow stiff. I didn't want to scare her, but I really wanted to be able to help her. I sat there for a while, waiting for her to calm down a little bit. I wrapped my arm around her, shocking even myself. That wasn't like me to be so outgoing, but something drew me to this girl.

Finally, she looked up at me. Her big blue eyes stared into my soul as I felt like I could see the pain reflected in that sea of blue hidden behind her long eyelashes.

My heart broke as I recognized the amount of pain invading her mind. I blocked all the memories of my panic attacks out of my brain as I focused on how to help her. No one had been there to help me through my pain until Tyler, and I desperately wanted to be able to help this girl.

I already felt a strange attachment to this beautiful human although we hadn't even spoken yet. We stared into each other's eyes, and I felt as if she understood me as well as I understood her.

I asked her if she was ok, and she seemed to debate on how to answer. I shouldn't have asked her that, she obviously was not ok.

We talked for a little bit, trying to ease the awkward situation. I was still mesmerized by her ocean blue eyes, but tried to focus on what she was saying.

Oh my goodness her laugh was adorable!!

She introduced herself- Autumn was her name. It completely fit her for some reason. She didn't have red hair or anything resembling the season she was named after, but there was something about her that made me feel the beauty of her name represented in the way she presented herself.

Her pale, tear stained face looked up at me expectantly.

What was she expecting me to say?

She laughed at me and asked my name.

My goodness her laugh!! Why did it make me feel so happy?

Wait, she didn't know who I was? But she was at my concert?

I was confused but told her Joshua. I'm not quite sure why I didn't simply say "Josh", the name everyone called me. But then again, she wasn't everyone. She was different and I liked that about her. Having her call me by the same name everyone else did just felt wrong.

I offered to let her clean up in my bus and she accepted. As she stood up I noticed she was shaking uncontrollably and could barely walk. She was tall, about 5'6, but the height suited her. Her long legs were gorgeous and her haircut showed off her features incredibly well. I offered her my arm to hold on to, and felt her slim arm wrap around mine. She was still shaking, and I was getting very concerned. I didn't know how she was even able to walk while she was shaking so much.

I swept her up into my arms bridal-style and felt her gasp-then laugh. She was lighter than expected, which caused me to worry even further. For her height I felt like she should weigh more than what I felt. She didn't feel any lighter than 100 pounds. She seemed to relax once she was off her feet and she wrapped her thin arms around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder. I could tell her panic attack had taken all of her energy out of her as she relied on me fully.

I brought her to my bus and let her clean up as I ate my Taco Bell I had yet to finish. I checked the time, I had about an hour before I had to be backstage. Chef'Special was starting in about half an hour, and then I had Mutemath after that before I had to start getting ready. I wanted to be able to be here for Autumn as long as possible.

She walked out of the bathroom and was even more beautiful than before. Even without makeup, her eyes shone as blue as before. I tried to hide my admiration by shoving my taco in my mouth.

Nice move Josh.

I needed to tell her who I was before she found out from someone else. I didn't want to lie to her, but I didn't want her to react differently to me once she found out who I was. It was so rare to find someone who didn't recognize me these days that I really didn't want to mess this up. I wanted to get to know her better without her feeling like she couldn't be herself around me because I was "famous".

I eventually mustered up the courage to tell her and immediately grew concerned as the life drained from her eyes and her face turned white.

Oh no. Josh you ruined everything!

I tried to explain but she stood up and tried to leave. I noticed she was starting to shake again and I didn't want her to leave so unstable.

Was she mad at me? No, the look on her face was embarrassment. Oh no, I felt horrible! I never wanted to cause her pain. She probably thought I was judging her. She had no idea how much I understand what she was going through and how much I wanted to help her. She probably thought I was just using her or mocking her.

I tried to go comfort her but she collapsed on the ground as her shakey legs gave out underneath her. The shaking grew worse and I could tell she couldn't hear me any more. I grew panicked as she shut out the world. I tried to explain to her that it was ok and that I understood what she was going through. I tried to tell her that I was here for her and wouldn't hurt her but she couldn't hear a word I was saying.

The pain on her face tore my heart into a million pieces. I was helpless. I couldn't do anything. I laid on the ground next to her as she lost consciousness.

What was I to do now? I had to be on stage in half an hour but I couldn't just leave her! I started to panic myself. This was a situation I couldn't handle myself.

I ran to get my phone as I dialed Tyler.

Hey guys!! I hoped you liked this chapter! Let me know if you want me to do more from Josh's perspective or if you just like it from Autumn's. Any feedback or recommendations is greatly appreciated! OMG ITS CHRISTMAS IN TWO MINUTES!!!! lol I hope you guys have a great Christmas! :) I'm so glad it's break so I can finally update more often! Also, my best fren lauraapatriciaa posted some of her AMAZING poetry on her account and you guys should really check it out. I relate to it so much and I think some of you would do. I know she would love if you read it :) MERRY CHRISTMAS!! I love you all and thank you so much for reading!