:•: autumn :•: a Josh Dun fan fiction

s.i.x

:•: autumn :•:

Now that the shock and panic from the earlier events had faded away, I started to realize how weird this situation was. Where had I gone? Where am I now? Why am I in a bus? Joshua must have noticed the confusion shown obviously through my face because he tilted his head and grinned at me. I snapped out of my daze and laughed, clearly embarrassed.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" He laughed.

"Well I just realized I have no idea where I am or how I got here or what to do now" I said, masking my panic with a forced laugh.

A look of panic crossed Joshua's face. I wondered why. What did he have to be worried about?

"Ummm... well I don't really know how to explain everything..." he scratched his head awkwardly and looked down.

I admired his cotton candy pink hair, forgetting about the problematic situation.

I could never pull off a hair color like that. I didn't know anyone could... how can he have pink hair and still be so attractive? I've never liked a punk rock guy before... maybe I don't really like him. Just because a guy comforts you Autumn does not mean you have to create fake feelings for him! You don't belong with a guy like Joshua. It's just not you.

"I-i guess I owe you an explanation" Joshua said.

I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to focus on him.

"Ok?" I said, clearly confused.

"I'll start from the beginning". He said. I could tell he was nervous.

I was concerned. He had already helped me through a lot and I didn't want to see him go through the same pain I experienced. I sat next to him and tried to give him an encouraging smile. I'm sure it came off terribly awkward though.  He took a deep breath.

"So here goes nothing. I'm kinda in the band twenty øne piløts". He whispered.

I sat back. Shocked.

What an idiot!!! Autumn how could you be so stupid? You just embarrassed yourself in front of a super famous celebrity band member that thousands of people are here to see and you don't even recognize him. Heck, you couldn't even take the time to research the band before you came to their CONCERT!! What is wrong with you?! You could have avoided this embarrassment. I never should have came today. I knew this was a horrible idea! Why did I ever let Isabelle talk me into this?!

"I-I I'm so sorry to bother you" I said as I stood up hurriedly. I awkwardly rubbed my arm as I began to leave the bus. The tears began to leave the trapped bars behind my eyelids.

Gosh Autumn why don't you see how many times you can have a mental breakdown in a day, would you?

"Autumn, wait!" Josh yelled.

I turned around slowly. I dug my fingernails into my arm, trying to keep myself from having another panic attack and hide the embarrassment. I couldn't even look Joshua in the eyes.

He stood up and walked over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. I started shaking uncontrollably and felt my body go limp. I collapsed in a pile on the floor by the door. I could feel myself losing consciousness. I didn't want to be alive anymore. Please, just let me be in peace.

He was probably going to tell everyone how he met a pathetic girl who had a mental breakdown every minute and who didn't even recognize him at his own concert. I was going to be mocked by everyone. How could I be so stupid? How could I open up to a complete stranger when I was so vulnerable?

I curled up into a ball and felt my body go into the familiar feeling of shock. My body was trembling. I could hear my heart beating so loudly in my ears. I couldn't hear anything except for the heart beats that seemed to grow faster and louder every second. It was as if my heart had grown a mind of its own and was attempting to drown out my thoughts and everything surrounding me. The sound became deafening. I squeezed my eyes together as tight as I possibly could trying to snap myself out of this panic attack as tears continued to stream down my face.

I felt a soothing hand gently touch my shoulder. I slowly opened my eyes. My eyes, blurry from tears, stared into Joshua's chocolatey brown eyes; they looked extremely concerned. My vision began to grow spotted as black enveloped my world. The last thing I saw was Joshua mouthing my name.

"Autumn..."