Secondhand Life

Chapter 24

Ash's P.O.V.

"Wait! Maria!" I yelled down my street. I saw her flying down the road running at full speed and I felt my heart start to race. I put on my shoes without even thinking and ran after her. I ran so hard my lungs hurt.

"Stop! I want to talk to you!" I was catching up to her as she slowed down, she suddenly stopped slowly and I bumped right into her.

"I know what I did was wrong, I couldn't help it, I'm sorry I'm so sorry I feel like an idiot I shouldn't have-"

But I stopped her in mid sentence by touching her face lightly. She stared at me with sudden terror in her eyes.

"Maria, I don't know what I'm feeling." I said staring at her puzzled complexion. "My heart is racing, I'm flustered, my brain is in one big blur and my stomach is in knots." I said feeling my face flush red.

"You're either really really sick, or, you're in love Ash." She said laughing a slight bit nervously.

My eyes widened and my heart stopped. "I put my shoes on to chase you without even thinking, as I was falling asleep in the living room downstairs I thought of you before I fell asleep, I ran as hard as I could to catch up with you and felt so scared that you were leaving. Is that what love is?" I looked in her eyes and paused feeling like the world was falling down on me. "Because if that's what love is, it's really scary."

"Yes Ash, that's what love is, and of course it's scary, it's letting someone take your heart even if you don't want them to have it, you just hope they don't break it." She said inching closer to my face but I stopped her.

"Maria, I love you." And I kissed her lips feeling fireworks in my heart.

*****

I was back at Maria's house sitting on her couch while she changed clothes in her room. I stared at my feet not knowing how to move. I was solid cold from what had just happened yet warm on the inside from my happy feelings. I started shaking in confusion, what were we going to do now?

Maria came out of her room to see me shivering intensely and she giggled. "Someones a little shook up ey?" She said wrapping me in a blanket snugly nudging me lightly.

"What are we supposed to do now?" I said my voice shaking like the rest of my entire body.

"To be honest." Maria said. "I don't know. You're still young, I'm a few years older, but I think for now we need to focus on getting you out of these dreams you're having before you possibly die."

I nodded my head and sighed. I could be dead tomorrow, that's the danger every night held when I decided to go to sleep. Even though of course it was dangerous it was something I needed to do, because every human needs sleep. And unfortunately, my sleep was deadly.

Maria sat down beside me and wrapped an arm of hers around my shoulders and pulled me closer. "I don't want to rush anything either, knowing that we are both in danger here." She said looking down. 

I didn't know what would happen if she told her parents she was thinking about dating a girl rather than a boy, I knew my family would be okay with it since my mom used to date girls in high school and came out as Bisexual in college before she married my dad. I bit my lip and stared at her, she looked up at me with longing eyes, but I didn't know what her eyes were longing for until she kissed me again, and this time I couldn't seem to pull away.

***

It was now midnight as we stayed up too afraid to go to sleep, we were watching a Harry Potter marathon on ABC family when I decided we should make hot chocolate and some snacks in order to stay up. I got up to go to the kitchen and started making drinks while Maria decided to take her make up off, as the hot chocolate was in the microwave I placed some cookies on a plate and sighed. Maria came in seconds later and looked like a completely different person without her makeup. She looked different in the best way possible. My jaw hung open a bit and she stared at me with sadness. 

"I know I look bad, you don't need to hang your jaw open like that." She said lowering her gaze to the floor.

"No, no you're not bad looking at all. You look amazing." I said walking a bit closer. I've never seen her like this before. Even while she had slept at my house in the past she always wore her makeup to bed. It was like a whole new Maria had formed since this afternoon.

"Thank you, but you shouldn't get close to me I look really gaunt." She said backing away from me and trying to change the subject, but I couldn't help but stare and inch closer and closer until we were nose to nose again. Maria had no where left to turn, she had reached the wall of her kitchen and tried to divert her eyes from my own.

"Please Ash, I don't want you to see me like this so close up." Maria said turning her face away from me.

"But I love you the way you are." I said turning her face to face my own. I took her hand and raised it up high and put my pinkie out. "I promise you that you're beautiful just the way you are." I said blushing madly as I said so not knowing what her response would be,

"I really needed to hear that, thank you." She said twirling her pinkie around mine and hugged me tight.

I smiled and hugged her back and felt water on the back of my shirt along with the sound of soft sobs.

"Maria, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I asked her, pulling away from her hug and looked her in the eye..

"Why do the best people, like you, who can make everyone feel better, who can put a smile on someones face, who can make them feel the love they've never felt before, why are those people always the ones who have a chance of dying?" She said looking at me with the most heavy eyed look I've ever seen.

"Well, maybe because we realize how important everything is once we learn we won't be around long enough to witness everything, so we give someone else we love and cherish the opportunity to see the wonderful things and pass them on to other people because we know we cannot." I replied wiping the tears from her face.

"And Maria, for me, the person I want to pass those things onto, the person I want to cherish those things with, is you."

She gasped, and without even blinking, her eyes started watering uncontrollably and at that moment I knew.

I was someone special to her.