Secondhand Life

Chapter 32: Section Two.

Ash's P.O.V.

I paced back and forth in my room in a deep set of anger and regret. I told Maria how I felt when I knew I shouldn't have. Although what I told her was the truth, I knew I couldn't trust her. Of course I didn't know what I was saying, if it was right or wrong I didn't care at the time, I was too angry, but now I regret it.

Beep beep.

Photo message from Isa.

I slid my finger to unlock my phone and saw screenshots from a conversation between Maria and her.

"You can have her, she doesn't love me anymore. Take care of her, please." Maria had typed.

"Are you sure?" Isa responded back.

"All I ask is, just make sure you love her, as much as she loved me."

"My pleasure."

I looked at these messages and felt my heart skip a beat.

"All I ask is, just make sure you love her, as much as she loved me." Replayed in my head. Was this what it's like to end a relationship? Get over it and move on right away? I wasn't sure. Maria was my first relationship, first kiss, first love, first everything. Now we we're moving on and she was taking all of our firsts with her.

I looked down at my phone again to see a new message.

Want to come over tonight? -Isa

I hesitated, not knowing where this evening would take place, but after all, I had nothing to lose anymore now that Maria was gone.

Sure, why not.

*****

Maria's P.O.V.

A month had passed since I had separated from Ash. No longer did I go partying, or drinking with my friends. I focused on my work ahead of me and changed my major in college to become a family counsellor. I feel like I'd be really good at trying to help families progress through hardships and adapt to a life together. Since my family had fallen apart since I came out as lesbian almost four years ago. I just wanted to help other families before it became too late, like it is now for my family and I.

As productive as I have been lately with my future career, I changed by job to working in a bookstore right across the street from my college and only worked twice a week. Ash was still in my mind, and I used my memory of her as a motivation. I did occasionally look through her Instagram to see more photos of her with Isa. I noticed over a post in the past week she switched jobs to working at the same coffee shop as Isa. I wasn't jealous, just disappointed in myself that I made such a huge mistake in cheating on Ash. But I couldn't change how things have happened. I only have myself to blame.

I took a deep breath and sighed in my desk chair. It was ten in the evening and my dorm was empty, for all my friends went out to drink and forget all the money they had to pay back to this school. The silence was nice, but I felt detached from the college life. Of course I was living on my own, paying for everything, making my future. But I was missing the love, the struggle, laughter of staying up all night then running to classes late the next morning, being happy. But I guess this is what is was like to be "mature." To miss out on all the things you love to do, watch your friends have fun without you, and feel a longing for something interesting to happen in your life. Just because it's what we're all expected to do eventually. No wonder why most adults I have met seem so distraught with their lives and look like they have no joy. But I might as well get used to it now because I'll be doing it for the rest of my life.

I sat quietly in my chair as the door sprung open when my roommate Nicki came in looking sick.

"Hey, hey what's wrong?" I asked her taking her by the hand to sit at the edge of my bed.