𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [ 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 ] ✘

Loving You Is Suicide

*press play to listen along with the one shot*

He left me. I don't know why but he did. He left me for her. That girl he always hangs around with now. Enid. We'd been dating since the prison days although we'd met before that back at the farm. I was the youngest Greene girl and I'd never even had a crush on a boy yet.

Everywhere is still

But when we went to the prison, I got closer to Carl and he became my first boyfriend.

Everything is restless in my heart

Those days were the best. They still live on in my mind. I wish they still lived on in his.

I hate the way this feels

But he seems to have forgotten about me completely. He's infatuated with her. And me? I'm just a memory to him now.

Suddenly I'm scared to be apart

But things had changed in Alexandria and I was scared to go anywhere without him. Because of the new leader, Negan.

The days are dark when you're not around

But worse than the fear was the depression that hit me whenever he was gone on a supply run. Whenever I couldn't see him anymore.

The air is getting hard to breathe

I'd almost had a panic attack more than once. He was my lifeline back then and had made everything better.

I wish that you would just put me down

I wish I could just wish away my feelings for him, wish away all of those memories that haunted me and the days we'd spent together.

I wish that I could go to sleep

Even when I slept, he still plagued me in my dreams.

Loving you is suicide

I should never have loved Carl Grimes, never let him into my life.

I don't know should I go or should I stay

I looked down from my perch on the roof of the infirmary to see Carl crossing the street, Enid's hand entwined in his.

I'm tryna to keep myself alive

As I watched him turn to kiss her, it felt like someone had stabbed a knife into my heart.

Knowing there's a chance it's all too late

My favorite memory of us entered my mind then...

But I heard you say you loved me

~ Flashback ~

I felt his breath on my skin and he mumbled against my lips, "I love you..."

That's the part I can't forget

His Sheriff's hat brushed against my forehead as his velvet-soft lips captured mine.

~ End of Flashback ~

And I wish that you come save me

Slowly, I stood up on the roof as tears pricked my blue eyes. I wish that Carl loved me like that still...

Cause I'm standing over the edge

Bits of shingles trickled down as I stepped onto the ledge, looking down at the ground. It was a long way down. But what was there to live for anyway? He didn't love me anymore, didn't need me like he used to. He'd moved on and I was still living in the past. I had nothing now. Nothing but the memories...