𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐋 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [ 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 ] ✘

...To Say Goodbye [Pt. 2]

Note: I ugly-cried my way through writing this so be forewarned :"( Also a part 3 for this will be coming either tonight or tomorrow...

With all three of us helping out, we were finally able to bring Carl to the burned-out church at least, the flames of the fires outside giving the place a soft glow. Slowly, we set him down on the floor and he sighed tiredly, feeling drained just from being moved like that.

"Thanks for-for getting me here," he breathed out, every word taking it out of him.

"I'm-I'm sorry. I-I just- I didn't-I didn't want you out there. I-I-" Rick stumbled over his words but Carl cut him off.

"No. Not for getting me here. For-for making it so I could be who-who I wound up," he explained, his breathing starting to become shallow as he spoke, "Back at the prison when we got attacked there was a kid, a little older than me. He had a gun. He was- he was starting to put it down, and I-I sh- I shot him... He was- he was giving it up, and I-I just- I shot him... I think about him. What I did to him and how-how easy it was to just kill him,"

"Carl, no. No," Rick cut him off, almost too choked up to speak, "What happened what you'd lost... All those things you had to... All those things you had to do... You-you-you-you were just- you were just a boy!"

"And you saw it. What it did. How-how easy it got," Carl continued to tell him adamantly, "That's why you changed why you brought those people from Woodbury in - you brought them in, and we all lived together. We were enemies. You put away your gun. You did it so I could change, so I could be who I am now. What you did then - how you-how you stopped fighting, it was right. It still is. It can be like that again. You can still be like that again."

"I can't be who I was. It's different now,"

"You can't kill all of 'em, Dad. There's gotta be something after. For you and for them. There's gotta be something after... I know you can't see it yet how it could be. But I have - you have a beard. It's-it's bigger and grayer, Michonne's happy, Judith is older, and she's listening to the songs that I used to before... Alexandria's bigger. There's-there's new houses crops and people working. Everybody living, helping everybody else live. If you can still be who you were that's how it could be. It could..."

"Carl... It was all for you. Right from the start. Back in Atlanta, the farm - everything I did, it was for you," Rick told him, making my eyes fill up with tears at the memories from so long ago, "Then, at the prison, it was for you and Judith. It still is. It's gonna be. And nothing -nothing is gonna change that,"

"I want this for you, Dad," Carl said softly.

"I'm gonna make it real, Carl... I promise. I'm gonna make it real," Rick promised his son and finally, the tears began to trek down my cheeks.

"Carl I'm sorry... I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. A father's job is to protect his son,"

"Love. It's just to love..."

The three of us cried in silence then before Carl stretched out his fingers, painstakingly retrieving his gun from the holster on his hip.

"No. No!" I cried, shaking my head vigorously.

"Carl! It-it-it-it should be-" Michonne tried to say, her words breaking.

"I know. Somebody you love. When you can't do it yourself... But I still can. I grew up. I have to do this. Me..." he said tiredly.

His gaze fell on Rick and Michonne then and he said his goodbyes to them as I sat back, crying softly. Their eyes met mine then and they nodded once before stepping out, Rick glancing back one last time with tear-filled ice-blue eyes to look at his son before he, too, slipped outside. The sun had come up by now, filling up this dusty little place with its light. But it wasn't a welcome sight...not this time. All that could be heard was the sound of my tears as I scooted closer to him, smiling sadly through my tears as I stroked his hair. But as I gazed down into that ocean-blue orb, I knew it would be the last time.

"I love you," he choked out into the silence and suddenly, I couldn't hold back the emotions any longer.

My chest heaved with hiccuping sobs as I let it all out and I fell onto his chest gently, crying into his shirt. Slowly, his arms encircled me and my tears soaked the material as I listened to the sound of his heart beat slowing down in his chest.

"I love you, Carl...I love you so much! I'll-" I sobbed, choking up once before continuing, "-I'll always love you..."

This was it. The last time I saw him, last time I spoke to him - saw his face, his eyes, his smile... The last time we would be together on this earth...and it felt like someone stabbing a knife right into my heart, twisting it around and around in the wound.

"I-I've never loved anyone as much as you. Not in my whole life," I let out a humorless laugh through my tears as I clung onto him for dear life before finally sitting up to gaze down into his face, "You were there for me at-at a time when I didn't have anyone...when I had felt so lost I thought it might kill me... At times, I had wished it did..."

I bit my lip then, sucking in a slow, deep breath before continuing, "But you...you were the best summer of my life. The last time I ever felt happy was when I was with you... And I'll never be able to thank you enough for that... Gosh...I love you, Carl Grimes...I love you..."

Tears ran down his cheeks, too, then, falling softly down the side of his face as he lie there. Gently, I bent down to him and cupping his face in my hands, pressed my lips to his. It was a slow, gentle kiss and I put all of the passion, love, happiness, joy - all the emotions I felt for him into it. I never wanted to let go, never wanted to break away from him. Our last kiss... But when I finally did, when I finally broke away from that last touch.

"I'll never forget...not any of it...not you...you'll always be here in my heart... Goodbye, Carl Grimes... Thank you for being my everything..." I sobbed brokenly, sniffing loudly as I picked myself up off the floor.

And after sending him one last glance, I pressed a hand hard to my mouth to keep the tears in...and walked away. My feet had just stepped out onto the porch when suddenly, I heard the sound of a gunshot. Instantly, my hands went to the pillar of the house for support. It felt like that bullet went right through my heart. It all broke loose then and I was unable to stop it. My chest heaved with loud sobs, my nose running, and nothing-nothing in my mind but Carl and all of our memories together. Slowly, I let out an ear-piercing scream and fell to my knees, barely able to breathe from the onslaught of tears.

"C-Carl...CARL!" I cried out hysterically before Michonne walked over and grabbed me up, pulling me into her tight embrace.

I sobbed into her chest harder than I had ever cried before, feeling so desolate...as if I would never be happy again... 

And in a world without Carl Grimes, I knew I never could be...