Poet's Jasmine

Chapter 3

Water

Text Message:

7:32h

You've been a good girl these past two years, Mindy. 

Don't blow it now. 

Keep your mouth shut.

Mindy didn't have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning. 

She just fooled herself into thinking so. 

Her classes started officially everyday at 8 o'clock. And she lived about half an hour away from school. But so did everyone else. For lack of closer high schools, everyone that lived in that quiet neighborhood in London's suburbs had to travel that same distance.

Waking up before six was taking it to the extreme, however. What could one possibly benefit from arriving an hour early to school?

Mindy told herself she did this to avoid traffic, or to assure that, in case of an incident, she'd still make it on time. But truthfully, this was her way of avoiding the crowd of people that came to school maximum 10 minutes before class.

This was her way of avoiding contact, and therefore, any possibility of attention.

There was nothing she hated more than to walk up to school whilst everyone else watched (and judged) her every step.

Getting there one hour early granted her nearly nothing could go wrong.

And Mindy, was terrified of anything that didn't work according to plan.

"To think that we're actually going to tutor you, Mindy! I mean, not really tutoring, since you already have it in you, but we'll be helping you releasing and letting it all out! We'll be together before school, during school, after school, interpreting roles, memorising lines, it will be so much fun! Oh my god! Won't it be amazing?"

A ball of energy appeared in Mindy's way as she was walking down the hallway. 

This had never happened before. Nothing had ever gone wrong before. She had made sure it didn't. How come someone was in school before her? 

She relaxed, realising it was only Caspar and Amelia. But she couldn't shake the panic off her mind.

"Amelia..."

"Oh. Mindy. Is this not okay? Do you not like spending time with us? We can always ask someone else to help us out?"

Upon Amelia's reaction, it finally dawned on Mindy that she had nothing to worry about. She reminded herself to keep her emotions guarded, and quickly composed herself.

"No, no! I'm sorry, I want you guys to help me! I apologise if I lack enthusiasm... When shall we start?" 

As she spoke, the smile she had learned to master was back in her features, leaving the non attentive to be fooled by its impressive credibility.

"How about everyday after school?" suggested Caspar. His arm protectively wrapped around his girlfriend in a loving manner.

"Don't forget I take dance. We train up until very late in the evening most of the time."

"Right, I forgot you took that damned course." he said with a laugh. Amelia giggled in unison. 

Mindy smiled at the sight. Caspar and Amelia would never be Caspar [and] Amelia. They were a package deal, Amelia and Caspar were, their love seemingly merging both their souls into one single character.

There was no one without the other. Wellington's School of All Arts had grown fond of the couple over the years; that much Mindy had figured.

"On Fridays, however, we finish around 4pm. We could meet up at my house?"

"Fridays are cool with us. But won't it be inconvenient for your parents?"

And as sad as it was, Mindy still answered with a smile:

"My dad is rarely home. Don't worry." 

Amelia jumped in excitement.

"Then it's set! Fridays at Mindy's! This will be great!"

Mindy simply sighed, as she waved goodbye to the couple and went on her way to her locker. Once there she took a deep breath and pressed her forehead to the cold locker, closing her eyes for a brief moment.

She felt fidgety. It wasn't a particularly bad day, in fact, she had just managed  to carry a semi-long conversation from start to finish without stressing too much about it. But she wasn't happy either. She could never be, for she never allowed herself the luxury. Happiness was for those worthy of such.

Mindy was a bad person. 

Mindy was a bad person, and she was glad today felt like nothing but water. She was only allowed to feel like water, if that. Bland, indifferent, empty. No flavour, no happiness. Just there. Transparent, silky, yet cold, water. Anything beyond that was a risk she couldn't afford to take.

Water was nice for everyone. Life depends on it. Lives depended on it.

There was no human that hadn't once depended on Mindy. Everyone needed her, from time to  time. Because someone had to stay after class and clean the room. Someone had to eat the cafeteria food first, to assess if it was either edible or caused food poisoning. Someone had to have the correct answers to the tests.

Mindy loved being used, if it meant happiness for those who used her.

"If you stay in that position for much longer your head may actually melt together with the metal."

Mindy snapped her head up in a jolt.

"Mrs. Sullivan!" 

The teacher smiled. 

"That would be me. Have you talked with your colleagues? About extra rehearsal time?"

"We settled on Fridays at my house." 

"I was hoping you'd get a bit more tutoring than that..."

"I take dance, Mrs. Sullivan. I barely have time."

"Right. Our ballerina. How come you haven't shied away from that course?"

"I don't have to speak, Mrs. Sullivan." No words, no judgement.

"I see. Well, I'll let you continue the intimate moment you were sharing with your locker, as I have matters to attend to." she let out a laugh. "Have a good day."

Have a good day?

Guilt consumed Mindy's body thoroughly.

No, Mrs. Sullivan. You have a good day. Take it. It's yours. After everything that happened, I owe it to you.

Take all my happiness, please.

It's yours.