♡catch me when i fall ; phan♡

viii

dan woke up, his head pounding with a hangover. "agh," he groaned, "god damn it..."

he noticed he was in his bed, shirtless and in pajama pants, last thing he remembers is drunkenly cuddling a shibe dog at that house.

blurry memories of phil driving clouded his mind; he slightly remembers phil being eye view with him, his silver blue eyes prominent in dans thoughts.

but one question remained; where was phil now?

dan weakly stood up and stretched, the question burning in his mind. where had phil gone? maybe pj would have his number?

he picked up his phone and quickly dialed the green eyed boys number.

dan sat agonizingly long as it rang and rang, until finally,

"hello?"

"pj, need phils number. do you have it?"

"jesus dan it's like... nine in the morning!" pj complained through the phone.

"i know i know, i'm sorry. i have a hangover too. it's just phil brought me home last night but i was so drunken off my ass i don't remember a damn thing. he's gone and i don't have a number or anything." dan sighed, running his fingers through his tangled chocolate curls.

"yeah i have it. i'll send it to you when you hang up."

"okay thanks peej."

dan clicked the red button and waited anxiously for pj to send him the number. his name popped up and a phone number was in the little white bubble followed by, "here, let me know if he replies :)"

dan typed a quick thanks and clicked on the number to call phil. his stomach and chest filled with butterflies as it rang.

after what felt like years, a familiar voice started, "hi!"

"phil!-" dan was cut off as it continued.

"i'm busy right now, but please leave a message at the beep so i can call you back! thanks!"

dan pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at the screen as he faintly heard the voice say "to leave a message, wait for-" before hitting the red button.

he sighed and tried again, despretatly trying to reach out to the raven haired boy. "phil... where are you..?" he sighed, sadness filling his chest. he tried again and again, each one unsuccessful.

♡♡♡

dan sat staring at the cracked ceiling above his bed, his face puffy and tear stained. why do i always get attached to people..? he thought to himself.

what if phil hated him? what if he was dead? what if he was hurt somewhere crying out dans name weakly in pain?

"phil... i need to know you're okay..."

dan draped his arm over his puffy red eyes in grief.

he didn't want to eat he didn't want to sleep he didn't want to do anything until he knew that phil was okay.

"i don't like him. i can't like him. we just met. dan get him out of your head this is ridiculous." the chocolate haired boy said to himself sternly.

"he doesn't like you. he was uncomfortable. you made him uncomfortable. you got drunk you idiot and scared him away. i can't believe you."

dan threw on his grey sweatshirt and got out of bed, not wanting to stare at the ceiling anymore.

he hit his head with closed fists while pacing the floor. "you idiot. you jerk. you bastard. you douche. you imbecile. you moron."

he walked to the bathroom and kneeled in front of the toilet seat, his mind racing with names to call himself for being so stupid as to scare phil away. dan shoved his middle finger deep into his throat and spewed his guts in front of him.

"that's what you fucking deserve..."