Poetry/Music

Waking Up

[Warning: This is very dark]
First Verse:

Open the door to a new day.
Yelling is all your family gots to say.
Depression and aggression creeps upon you when you're trying to convey your feelings.
It didn't work, so you ran back to behind your locked door.
There is a banging, using all you got to keep that door closed.
Keep it closed, keep it closed, God Damn it keep it closed!
No one in this world seems to care, killing yourself seems to be a literal dare, but you believe you'll be selfish taking it by your own hand.
Time escaping, the sand in the hourglass endlessly falling anyways, death will be eventual.
But it feels like an eternity, and people still need me, but then there are the ones who make my sanity suffer.
So close those eyes, the nightmares are a lot more kind, they at least listen to your problems to use it all against you, they seem like a dream compared to reality.
Already set up for failure in this life, yet surprised them that I actually became something.
They putting my will to it's limit, my patience to it's summit, and my life ready to submit.
That is life, got to go through the pain to know that I am alive, but screw it, I don't want to survive.
I given up, so I take this final bow before the velvet curtains close on me, I'll tell you how living in the grey gets you many creations of abominations.
I'll just wake up to another nightmare tomorrow.

Chorus:

Waking up to the day that is filled with Rain.
Meant to smooth your sins, but all it causes pain.
I know it isn't the only thing to blame.
But at the same time, it helps douse the flame.

Just live by the noose when life is loose.
Can't take the mental abuse, just gotta take a snooze.
I'm already awkward and weird to the world, might as well of disappeared.
True that is feared, but it's not like I am to be revered.

No matter what, there will be regret that is followed by a marionette controlling what is in my mindset.
I'll be waking up with my heartbreaking from mistaking the painstaking of caring for those who never did.
Because all there is yelling, no telling whose going to be rebelling.
Even killing is mercy, spilling of blood of those willing to wake up from the nightmare.

Second Verse:

Eventually, they get in screaming and deeming you as the "issue" of the family.
My brother is telling me that I only care about myself, hiding because I am afraid of sharing with others.
My father is telling how much he hates me, but keeps that context sensitive, because my mom is at my door.
I'll just fall farther father if it makes you happy.
I just don't want to be a bother brother.
Doesn't matter what I am feeling, there is only darkness filling my sight until I decide then fight back.
But I can't, I know I am big and tough, but that isn't enough, I don't want to inflict pain on someone else.
That's the struggle of my trouble that seems to double.
A paragon at school, at home a silent fool.
There isn't anyone I can truly tell without feeling weak about talking my problems from just a week.
That's just selfish, that is just too careless and hellish, I'm not helpless.
Rather be helping others while suffering in silence, just keep it all buffering and covering till it gets too encumbered, I just won't be recovered after obliterated.