Perfectly Matched (Complete)

Chapter 37

~❁✲❁***♥***❁✲❁~

"Aren't you gonna sleep yet?" Yuseff asked me as he entered the living room.

I shook my head without even lifting my eyes and just continued doing my teaching materials.

"Do you need anything? You want something to eat?"

"Hindi na. Matatapos ko na rin naman 'to. Mauna ka na lang matulog," I told him while cutting the pictures I printed in the photo paper.

"Do you need any help?"

"Hindi na. I'm fine. Kaya ko na 'to. Matulog ka na. Maaga pa pasok mo bukas."

He squatted in front of me on the floor and held my hand to stop me from cutting. He tilted my face to have a better look and sighed. "You've been too busy for a couple of weeks now. Hindi ka na natutulog nang maayos."

"Sorry, naghahabol lang ng mga trabaho."

He kissed my lips lightly. "Binigyan ka na ng teacher's aide di ba? Bakit puro ikaw pa rin ang nagtatrabaho ng mga 'yan until midnight? You might get sick already," he told me, worry was very clear on his face.

I smiled to reassure him. "Matutulog na ko maya-maya. Una ka na. Goodnight, Sungit!" I pecked his lips.

He sighed again. "Okay. Goodnight," he said before kissing me again and stood up to leave the room.

I expelled a heavy breath before lying down on the carpet across our living room and stared at the ceiling. I put my arm across my forehead. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko siya magagawang iwasan bago niya ako komprontahin sa totoong dahilan kaya pinapatay ko ang sarili ko sa katatrabaho hanggang hatinggabi. Hindi ko alam kung may idea ba siya, clueless, o sadyang manhid lang.

Naramdaman kong nag-init ang mga mata ko. Hindi naman kasi nakakatulong sa akin 'yung mga pagkokonsola niya at pag-assure sa akin na ayos lang sa kanya 'yung mga nangyayari sa pagitan namin. Nai-stress pa rin ako at alam kong sobrang dami ko pa ring insecurities dahil hindi pa rin ako mabuntis. It was so important to me because I knew that it was equally important to him kaya umiiwas na lang ako dahil nafu-frustrate lang ako. Kahit anong subok pa yata ang gawin namin ay di talaga kami makakabuo ng anak kaya mas mabuti pang umiwas na lang ako sa kanya para di palaging nadi-disappoint. Ako naman ang may problema, nasa akin ang problema at ayokong dumating 'yung time na baka sumbatan niya ako dahil hindi ko siya nagawang bigyan ng anak.

Pero nagi-guilty na rin ako sa mga ginagawa ko. I knew that he was always getting worried about me. Naguguluhan na siya sa obvious na pag-iwas ko sa kanya although alam kong pilit lang din niya akong iniintindi.

Napabuga ulit ako ng hangin bago bumangon. Tinapos ko ang ginagawa ko at umakyat na sa kwarto namin. I took a half bath before going to bed. Napatitig muna ako kay Yuseff bago tuluyang humiga sa tabi niya. Hindi ko napigilang yumakap sa kanya. He stirred from his sleep and turned to his side to embrace me also.

"I love you, Yuseff," I said before burying my face against his chest. I felt his arm tightened around me. I felt my eyes pricked with tears. Sorry, Yuseff. Sorry talaga sa lahat-lahat.

~❁❁**✲**❁❁~

"I cannot give you the proper advice dahil hindi naman ako expert sa mga ganyang problema, Bro. Why don't you talk to her doctor. Baka naman may fertility drug pala na pwede siyang ibigay para di na nagkakaganyan si Misty."

I sighed as I remembered what Sandro told me yesterday when I told him my problems regarding my wife. I didn't want to tell anyone about our relationship problems but I also didn't know how to handle our situation anymore kaya nagsabi na ako kay Sandro. And what he told me seemed to be the best advice that he could give—to ask for a professional advice.