Self-Proclaimed Everything

April 17, 2016

Dear diary,

Some stuff went down last night. That's all I can say. We went to Sweden's house so you wouldn't expect anything to happen but it did. All I can say is that my family is insane. 

For once, Finland was not in a good mood. It did not help that Denmark arrived dead drunk either. Sweden did a pretty good job managing everything though, for the first three minutes. Iceland showed up an hour late and he brought Hong Kong with him; mistake number 97. But that's just the beginning. 

Finland's bad mood was actually because he had to take Sealand to the doctors that morning to get a few shots because apparently kids have to do that these days and Finny was not taking any chances on his micronation son getting sick. Turns out Sealand is very very afraid of shots. Now he didn't give us all the details, but there was something about a scalpel being thrown at the nurse tomahawk style, and Finland giving the kid the shots himself after cornering the screaming devil and then them running out and never looking back. 

I said that Sweden did pretty well managing all of this for three minutes. He was sitting on some of his beloved IKEA furniture trying to calm Finland down as he just got back from the doctors, and then Denmark, drunk off his sorry butt, starting yelling that Sweden was horny. Su and Fin went ballistic and grabbed the nearest heavy objects to them and went after Denmark. 

Oh and during all of this Ice was in the corner making out with Hong Kong. Ja I broke that up real quick. 

Now I saw this as a perfect opportunity to practice magic on these dips so I called over England who we all know was doing nothing for Easter because he has no friends and we practiced some spells. Now Finland is immobilized, Sweden is trapped in a sleeping spell, Denmark is mute and tied to a chair with a bottle of his favorite beer just out of reach, Iceland and Hong Kong have a magic barrier between them that doesn't allow them to get closer than fifteen feet from each other (They're also mute I couldn't deal with the wining) and Sealand is playing with Cocoa-Ratio quietly. 

England and I are sipping coffee and tea and documenting this whole experience while enjoying the peace and quiet and hoping for snow soon. When it snows we can do this all over again but the rest of the Nordics will be outside in the cold. I love winter.