Random things I wrote

People change

She isn't the same , I think as I speak to my once called best friend. She changed, because people change.

She and me seem distant we used to tell each other all are secrets and do everything together we were inseparable, that is until we changed schools.

She found new friends and left me behind and when we do see each other it isn't the same I feel like I'm looking at a different person. The girl I knew became popular, got a boyfriend and is amazing at everything. While the girl I've become is a loner, un-noticed or cared for but used as a friend.

I feel like I'm entering a house that belongs to a friend a barely know not a friend I've known my whole life.

I try to keep in touch or tell her the problems I gave but all she asks is why I tell her, I look at her smile and just say I felt mad at the time and upset, I don't tell her I feel alone or that she used to be the first person I tell everything but now it's different.

I don't tell her that I have no friends or that I'm dying in the inside while I smile on the out. No. I don't tell her any of this because she isn't the person I knew before.

Because everyone I knew changed, my sister and the friends I've chosen because I don't have anyone...

I keep the problems I have clogged up inside until I eventually break and become the person I say I never wanted to become, I cut myself I cause my sled to purge I hurt myself so I become so numb that I don't fell the original pain.

People change.

I changed.

I'm not the happy girl every body knows because behind closed doors I'm dying slowly. I cry as the star shines and cut like a stream.

But no one sees all the see is my act that I display the don't see that I feel ugly and fat, because the see what the want to see.

I've been broken, lied and laughed at because...

People

Change.

I am tired of all of this of how when I need someone so much and crawl to them for help they look at me and wonder why the hell I'm a telling them in the first place. So while I crawl in my knees I smile and pretend that I'm not hurt or bleeding and say that I was 'Kidding'.

So what do I do after the pain of cutting and purging?

I take a bullet and end everything right here and now.

And whisper why I am doing this in the first place.

"People didn't change I did."