Torn

Chapter 18

My body tensed as the locks on the front door clicked. My heart was filled with worry because it had been hours since I've seen or spoken to her after our heated argument. I had tried several times to contact to her but each and every time I was sent to voicemail.

I waited patiently as her body appeared in the doorframe. Her mascara stained face and sadden expression broke my heart.

I couldn't believe that our petty argument had led to this. When her body fully emerged into the foyer and I ran over to her and hugged her.

"Babe I'm sorry" I said as I placed kisses all over her face. She looked at me with those same sadden eyes and went into the bedroom. I decided not to immediately follow her, in hopes that she would return and tell me what's really bothering her.

I waited for about fifteen minutes but decided that I would go and check on her. I expected the door to be locked, but surprisingly it was slightly cracked as if she had been expecting me.

When I entered my bedroom, her body was sprawled across the bed and she lied their motionless. I wrapped my arms around her lower torso and kissed every tear that fell.

"Babe talk to me" I whispered softly.

"Shawn you've been nothing but good to me. I don't deserve you" she said in a soft tone.

"Bey what are you talking about"? I asked, my voice now laced with concern

"I don't want to hurt you" she said which caused me to think the absolute worse.

"Bey just tell me what's going on"? My voice was now laced with agitation. If there was one thing I hated, it was beating

around the bush.

Bey looked at me with sorrowful eyes. As her lips parted to speak I immediately tensed up.

"I'm pregnant" she said softly while watching my expression. Although I knew she and ol' dude where trying for a baby, I

didn't expect the reality of it to be happening now. I was speechless and shocked. Thoughts flooded my mind as I thought

about the possible outcome of all of this. How would this affect us? Will there even be an 'us'? Will he want her back? Do I stand a chance?

"How far along"?

"I-I don't know"

"I am so sorry" she cried into my chest. I pulled her in close and inhaled her intoxicating scent. I wasn't mad at her. How

could I be? She became pregnant long before we made things official but that doesn't take away the hurt that I feel. As I held her, I reminisced about the last time I heard the words 'I'm pregnant'. I was given a beautiful baby girl by the woman that I loved and cared so deeply about. Who was I to stand in the way of giving that child a mother and father who love each other?

"Have you told him"?

"No"

"You should" I said honestly. I didn't believe in keep a man away from their child. He has every right to know

"I-I don't know what to do Shawn"

"I wish I had the answer but I don't"

"What does this mean for us? I mean if decide to keep the baby" I couldn't believe she was even contemplating not having

this baby. Not after she's waited this long.

"I don't know Bey. But I don't think you should abort this pregnancy" I spoke honestly.

She looked at me and her lips formed into a slight smile.

"You're amazing, you know that"

"So I've been told" I placed a kiss on her lips. I turned onto my back and stared blankly at the ceiling. Bey grabbed my