Torn

Chapter 22

You sure you okay with me going out Bey?" Shawn asked for the umpteenth time. He had been giving subtle hints about hanging out with the boys all week. I honestly had no problem with it.

"Shawn I'm fine with it. Enjoy yourself" I said while giving him a knowing look.

"Okay. And you sure you're okay watching Kennedy? I can find a babysitter if you don't-

"Shawn just go. Kennedy and I are having a girls' night of our own" I smiled.

"I'll be back by 10-

"Shawn you don't have a curfew. Just don't come home pissy drunk and we're fine". I said honestly.

"You sure-

"Kennedy please tell your daddy we'll be fine"

"Yes daddy. Me and BB going to have fun" she smiled.

"See now go" I said ushering him out there door. He turned around kissed me passionately before leaving.

"Now that daddy's gone, what do you want to do"? I asked Kennedy.

"Can we do nails"?

"What else"?

"Make cookies for daddy"? she smiled.

Kennedy and I headed into the bedroom where I had laid out everything we needed for a manicure and pedicure.

"Wow" Kennedy gasped at all of the different nail colors.

"Pick a color" I giggled.

"I want pink" she said with much enthusiasm.

I decided to give Kennedy the full experience as if we were at a real salon. Watching her be this happy brought a smile to my face. I watched as she mimicked everything I did and I couldn't help but laugh.

After polishing her nails, it was time for her pedicure. I had purchased a foot tub that had a built in massager. I placed her little feet inside and watched as she giggled when the vibration touched her feet"

"BB it tickles"

"Oh really"? I said as I began to tickle her.

"Stop BB" she laughed.

After a few more laughs, I dried her feet and placed them on my lap to be polished.

"BB do you like daddy"? Her question caught me off guard. Shawn and I never really discussed the extent of our relationship with

Kennedy and now with a baby on the way it was even more complicated. I was still hiding my pregnancy around her because Shawn and I haven't figured out a way to tell her about the baby. It bothered me but I remained quiet on the issue because Kennedy isn't my child. I knew Shawn had her best interest which is why I respected his decision to wait.

"I like him very much" I smiled.

"Why do you ask"? I said while applying the pink polish. She responded with a shrug to the shoulders.

"BB are you going to be my new mommy"? My heart stopped as those words left her mouth. I was speechless and unprepared.

"Your new mommy"? I asked for clarification

"Yes my real mommy is in heaven"

"You know your mommy is always with you. She's right here" I said placing my hand over her heart.

"I love you too and I will always be here for you"

"Okay" she said sadly.

"you wanna know a secret"? I asked trying to lighten up the mood