Sound of the Sins |H.s

XVI

Arabella's pov

"God dammit" The phone went flying over as my hands frustratingly moved in the air. I ended the phone call with Trevor without letting him finish his word.

He kept telling me about how he regrets helping me or how he hadn't thought I'd really take his opinion serious. The only people that know about this are Trevor and Harry. And apparently both of them are mad at me because they are 'protecting' me and they don't want me to get in trouble.

I don't know what's their problem really. If you ignore the Harry part, it's just me, a simple girl, trying to find a job and that job happens to be in a prison. Why are they making such a big deal of it?

I've been studying psychology for about three years now and saw this as an opportunity, like who wouldn't want to become a psychologist in a prison? It's real cool. And the most important part is that I'd get to see Harry more.

I'm not sure if he really wants to see me as much as I do but I can't help it.

I still haven't told Sophia though. With all the terrible reactions I've already gotten from those two, I'm actually scared to see how she would react. But I'll have to tell her one day. After all she's been missing on so many things lately.

NEXT WEEK

Harry's pov

One of my biggest fears was coming true. I knew that she was getting more and more attached to me every day. Every fucking day. I had to stop this as soon as possible. I had to stop her feelings from getting any stronger. This is all so fucked up. And even the thought of all of this being all my fault makes me want to grab the nearest sharp thing and slit my own throat. It's just like what Rose did to me. Arabella deserves the world and I know that I'm just gonna ruin her life. I can already see it happening.

I shouldn't let this happen. Everything I've done in my life has made so many people suffer but this time, no, I'm not gonna let that happen again. Arabella is gonna leave and just forget about everything that has happened. She must be in a fucking university right now, enjoying educated people's company and thinking about her bright future even though the thought of it cringes me. But that's what she deserves and she's exactly doing the fucking opposite.

Trying to come here and find a job in a fucking prison? Why?!! Because of a stupid fucking murderer that can't even handle himself, let alone take care of another girl. She doesn't even know what a prison is. A person's worst experience in life, or should I say worst nightmare. This shithole is even worse than a nightmare. That things actually end when you wake up and realize that it was just your own imagination. But this place. This place isn't like that. You can never wake up from this nightmare. It will always cling to your heart and brain, destroying your everything with the feelings of regret or guilt. And even if the feelings don't destroy you, the shouts of the officers, tortures of the guards and fights of the inmates will bring you to your own death.

I'm handling these because I'm a disgusting monster just like them. Full of lies and sins and things that she can not even imagine. I'm sure she thinks I'm just an innocent boy that is convicted of what he hasn't done. The thing is that I can't bring myself to tell her. Actually I also enjoy her being there for me. I can't bring myself to tell her what a terrible person I really am. I don't wanna see her face falling, her smile disappearing and her eyes tearing up. I'm lying to her but it's more like I'm lying to myself.

And then she's telling me that she wants to come to this place and expects me to fucking sit there and welcome her to hell. I am the reason why she's doing this. So I should be the reason why she changes her mind and leaves this place, not leaving any traces behind. If she's not gonna listen to me, I'm gonna make her do so.