Sound of the Sins |H.s

XV

Hey
I hope you enjoy the update
I really hope
Really

Arabella's pov

Sleep was all I needed to take my mind back to step one again. Back to thinking that I needed to find a job in prison. After I came home I was so frustrated there wasn't any curse words left that I didn't mentally say to Harry. I even found Sophia not being home an opportunity to spill out my anger on one of the vases in the hall that I hope Sophia won't find out about.

But apparently that didn't stop me from searching about the prison the minute I got out of the bed. Harry's words were still in my mind but I decided to deal with them face to face with him when I get the job. I wasn't quite sure how to get there though. As long as prisons don't have libraries. When I remembered about the library in the prison in Orange Is The New Black serial that I watched last month I felt like I was getting closer to my purpose but my hopes were crushed down as the building maps of the Calvary prison appeared on my laptops screen, no traces of any existing library in them. I expected that though, but I was waiting for a miracle or something.

I shut my laptop in frustration, sighing and rubbing my eyes. Harry's words had left a trail of painful scars on my mind and even though there was no one that could stop me from trying to get there, there was a nagging voice at the back of my mind, telling me that he didn't want me there.

Why would he though? I was just a stranger to him, he talks to me only because he's bored out of his mind. But if that's the truth so why does he act like he cares? He shouldn't have bothered to help me when the guards found out about my lies. I could imagine him thanking god when he realized I was out of his way. But that didn't match the reality. And the reality didn't match his words.

Fuck him. Like in both ways.

I mean really, I have the right to do whatever I want in my life. But the funny thing is that if Harry was never in my life I'm sure would have never thought about finding a job in prison. Probably sticking to my old job in the library.

But I really was tired of being alone. Even though I admit I enjoy being alone. I guess the feeling was fading away as I saw Harry more and more every week. I enjoyed his company you know.

Just as a friend though. A really close friend. A really good close friend.

The sound of glasses of the windows in my room brought me back to reality as I jumped a little at the sound, wondering how the glass wasn't broken from the hard impact of the hit. Wind was blowing in my room making the curtains go flying around. I stood up and closed the windows, pulling the curtains before grabbing my hoodie from the wardrobe and wearing it. The only thing I need right now is for me to get a cold.

I sat down on the bed with my legs sprawled on the mattress and my head leaning on the head of it. I put the laptop on my thighs opening up Google to do some research to see if I could find anything. I've been studying Psychology for about three years now but I guess my lack of study and work experience really lowers my chance of getting any job in that place.

And it was then that it hit me.

No like it literally hit me. The window burst open and it came all way to hit me right in the middle of my forehead as long as my bed was placed right beside the window. I groaned out loud in pain, standing up and throwing a punch at the iron part of it, making sure not to break the glass. I heard Sophia calling me from the living room and asking if I was okay and I shouted a simple 'I'm okay' standing up and this time locking the goddamn window.

I don't know it was because of the impact of the hit or my mind just needed a simple push to get triggered. Whatever it was, moments later I found myself seated on the chair with my phonebook in one hand and my phone in the other hand with three other notebooks laying on the desk and pencils scattered around the desk. This is the miracle I was waiting for.

The difficult part was to find his number. Then everything will work. Just like I planned. I just had to find his goddamn number that seemed to have vanished into thin air. I was thinking about calling my mom and asking her but then I remembered it was better to not involve them in any of this. They would sure talk me out of it. They didn't even know about Harry let alone all of this ordeal.

After about an hour of searching that felt like a year, I found it somewhere written on one of my old phonebooks, the blackness of the writing faded away and the number looking like it had been written in a rush. Never in a million years would I have ever thought that I'd need him for help. But I was going to take the chance.

I grabbed my phone dialing his number patiently and making sure I was calling the right number. Finally after six rings a woman picked up the phone.

"Mr. Weaver's office, Miss Kramer speaking. How can I help you?" The soft voice of this, I guess secretory, sent a feeling of anxiety to my body and I gulped down not really knowing what to say. I thought he would pick up. I was wrong I guess.

"Hello. um.... Can I talk to- um... talk to Mr. Weaver?" I cleared my throat, and stuttered, cursing at myself and covering the phone so she wouldn't hear.

"Mr. Weaver is on a vacation right now. Are you willing to leave a message for him?"

Fuck.

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh.. eh- nothing I was just, sorry can I know when he'll be back? From his vacation?" This woman had the ears of a bat.

"He'll be back Saturday next week. May I know the reason for your call?"

"It's personal. Anyway thanks for the information. Bye."

"Goodby-"

I hung up before she could even finish her sentence. His poor secretary works even when he's on vacation. I couldn't believe I had to wait one week for him to get his ass back to his office. But I didn't have any other option.

This was the only thing I could do to see Harry more often. I was willing to do anything. It sounds stupid to others. I've been trying to figure out my feelings but it really isn't that easy. If it's a simple stupid crush, it's gonna cost me so much cause I'm like literally changing everything in my life for this. And if it's not gonna be worth it, It will just ruin my life. But I doubt that. The feeling is stronger that just a crush. Every time I see his smile, his dimples popping out, the green of his eyes glistening with happiness I feel blessed. Or every time he runs his long beautiful shaped fingers through his curly brown hair I feel my breath hitch like I'm looking at the most beautiful human being made by god. I always remind myself that I sound like a pathetic little high school girl but that doesn't stop my thoughts about him the next time I see him again.

But every time the thought of him being in a prison, in the middle of the most dangerous and cruel people in the world comes to my mind, that's when I feel my smile fade away and my heart ache. My heart always tries to fight the thoughts, convincing my mind that my feelings are doing the right thing, but my mind has always been stronger than my heart. Even though now it wasn't stopping me from finding the job, I knew well that later it's gonna break my back with the heaviness of the guilt and regret.

But that's only if my feelings lead me to a place that I can't return from. I'm doing this only with the hope of that not happening.

The funny thing is that even now that I have figured out the consequences, I'm still willing to do whatever it takes just to hear his voice again.

I'm sure he has the most beautiful voice I've ever heard in my life.

Please comment as much as you can I've been having so many problems in my life lately and the feedback you give me on this book would make me so much happier

And yes that's why my update schedule is fucked up sry