Migraine [Jøshler Fic] *ON HOLD*

////Chapter 7////

(Trigger Warning!!!) Stay alive Frens ily

Tyler's P.O.V.

Josh and I walk into the small store, heading straight for the hair products. He was walking a little more confidently, although the hood of the sweatshirt I let him borrow from me was pulled up over his head and face. The sleeves dangled to create sweater paws, giving the illusion that Josh was smaller than me. It was actually quite adorable.

"What color do you think you'll do this time?" I ask lightheartedly as we stop in front of the limited section of hair dye. Josh stands close to me so that our shoulders brush.

"I'm not sure. What do you think I should do?" He asks softly.

"I really liked the bright red the last time you did it, but it's up to you. I don't care what's in your hair."

He laughs and my heart warms at the fact that our talk this afternoon had some kind of effect. "I know that. But you're also going to be seeing me every day. I did really like the red though. It's my favorite."

"Do you wanna do that then?"

"Yeah. I think I do." He smiles and grabs one of the brands off of the shelf. SPLAT!

Is the one he picked up. It worked perfectly fine the last time so I guess that's why he picked it again.

"What's the name of the color?"

"Ruby." Josh shrugs and starts toward the checkout counter, pulling his wallet from the back pocket of his skinny jeans.

"Sounds familiar." I laugh and follow him to the checkout. He pays for the hair dye and we both walk out of the store with small happy smiles. We head back to the apartment and get set up to dye Josh's hair.

Josh leads the way to the bathroom and sits down on the toilet seat while I read the directions.

"Are you gonna take your shirt off?" I ask, not realizing that that probably sounds wrong. I look over at Josh as he shakes head no.

"Okay, sorry."

"It's fine. I'm just not ready yet. Plus, I don't care if I get it ruined."

I shrug and continue reading the directions.

"Tyler?"

"Yes?" I put the box down on the bathroom sink and turn to Josh. He looks down at his intertwined fingers, twisting them in a white-knuckled grip.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"For what?"

If he says what I think he's going to say then I will literally cut off all of this hair.

"Everything. I just- I wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting towards you these past few months and-"

"Josh! You don't need to apologize for that. You had every single right to act that way. What you went through was traumatizing! I can't even begin to imagine what that felt like for you, still feels like. If that were to happen to me, I would probably be dealing way worse than you. You are stronger than me, because I would be broken after that-"

"Who says I'm not broken?" Josh stands up, anger coloring his voice and cheeks. "You're right Ty, you don't know what it felt like to be raped. You don't know what it feels like to be traumatized from an experience like that. I am broken and you are stronger than I am because you didn't fall apart when I did. You are the one who keeps helping me, making me eat and sleep and drink. Because you care. You fucking care too much! I am broken. I can't deal with this! You have been forcing me to take care of myself for weeks! And I put you through hell, refusing to do any of it. You want to know why? Tyler? Because I wanted to die. I will never ever get that filth off of me. I can still smell that man's goddamn breath and I can still feel him every time I take a deep breath."