The Peacekeeper

Chapter 32

"Karkat!" Dave was pissed. More pissed than sad. The red blooded troll grimaced at how loud he called out his name and ran to the door, shutting it and pulling some furniture to barricade it. As he did that Dave floated down into the room. His arms were crossed and his red eyes seemed to be glowing in anger. Maybe that was just the moonlight that gave it that effect. "What the FUCK dude?"

"Dave, I'm sorry. I just had to!" The human raised an eyebrow. Right. Karkat sounded like cicadas having sex to him right now. "I said I'm sorry. I had to come back."

"Why." Karkat blinked.

"Why...?"

"Yes. Why did you have to come back? What the hell is the reasoning for this. Enlighten me." Karkat stayed silent, his mind slowly attempting to form an actual reason. In all honesty he had none other than; he didn't feel like he had an actual purpose on Earth, he felt like an outcast, and it was not the life for him. All those reasons were very much arguable and Karkat had no others so instead he stayed silent. "Karkat, please. I just need a reason for all this." More silence. Dave sighed, plucked his shades from his head, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Karkat. Look, this is what I think. You're...you're fucking...you're twelve. That's the only explanation. You are a literal twelve year old. You have a single mindset and you're stubborn and no matter what you will not change your mind on something you think is right. Or something you think is the best option. You're scared of change and after a year you're still scared of it after living it! You came back here because this," the human gestured at the cold room, "this is...this is your bat cave. Every twelve year old douche has one. This is yours. This is where you come to at the end of the day and unwind. This fucking mess is your bat cave. The trolls here are all part of your little clique and all you care about is being the most popular douche with too much Axe body spray on!"

"Dave, with all due respect, I have no idea what you're saying."

"I'M SAYING YOU'RE A KID WHO KEEPS DOING THE WRONG THING BECAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW ANY BETTER!" Karkat jumped and shushed Dave. He didn't want the others to hear odd and possibly threatening alien screeching in his room. "Don't you shush me!"

"Dave shut up! Just calm down! Do what you always tell me to do when I freak out!"

"This is different! I just realised that my boyfriend is a goddamn idiot with a walnut sized brain of twelve year old boy!" Karkat shushed him again and made him sit down on a very stiff wooden chair.

"Dave please, calm down. I can't afford to have anyone hear you."

"Why do you care?" Dave was crying now. Angry and sad tears streaming down his face and making a small puddle on the desk in front of him. "It doesn't look like you give a shit about anything or anyone but yourself dude. No offense- actually full offense, but you're being really selfish. You're only thinking about you. I would understand why you would want to go back a year ago but now? Still?" Karkat couldn't look at him, he didn't want to meet Dave's eyes and how angry, sad, confused they must've looked. He didn't want to start crying too. "What about Kanaya? She just got you back too. She broke down fucking sobbing her eyes out when I told her you were gone. Rose couldn't calm her down. No one could. Do you know how heartbreaking it was for my sister? Seeing the love of her life breakdown because you left? Do you know how Kanaya blamed herself? She kept saying it was her fault. She should've seen some signs. Something."

"Dave I'm-"

"And what about Dirk? I know you're friends with him now too. You've been sneaking out to the park. You two talk a lot. He's considered you a close friend. He doesn't show much emotion but we knew. When he excused himself to the bathroom we fucking knew he was breaking down. And Sollux? Terezi? Vriska? They were pissed. They kept screaming out your name everywhere they looked. They thought someone kidnapped you."

"Dave-"

"What about me Karkat? Huh? What about me? I woke up without you next to me. I pretty much instantly knew you were gone. I thought you were lost or dead. Do you know how much it fucking hurts to be here with you right now? Here in this...here on fucking Alien World because you hate everything so much you'd rather come back here. You talked so badly about this place. You had nightmares and hallucinations and undernourishment and pain and sleep loss and hours of crying and wishing you were dead because of this place, and yet you run right back here? Why? Is it me? Do you hate me? Do you even like me? Do you even love me?"

Karkat stayed silent. He was scared that if he said anything he'd get another hard slap to the face that day. He kneeled down in front of the sobbing human and hesitantly put a grey hand over the pale one. Dave looked up, his eyes red and the skin around them pink and puffy from the crying. "Tell me something," Dave pleaded with a breaking voice, fresh tears streaming down his face, "please."

"I'm sorry."

"Tell me something more believable. I'm sorry isn't good enough in a situation like this."

"I suck." Karkat sighed. "I'm the biggest dick in the whole universe and I deserve the worst punishment. You're completely right. I'm a dick. I'm selfish and I'm putting you through needless pain. I only came back because...because I felt like my life had no meaning over there. I felt like a burden to you and everyone. I came back because this place is familiar. It's predictable. I don't know what can happen over on Earth and after all this time I'm still scared shitless. I came back because I'm a coward. I tricked Equius into making that shitty machine. I tricked you into thinking I was really confident in myself. I fucked up." Dave's crying died down a bit now, his hands were tightly gripping Karkat's as if thinking that if he let go Karkat might disappear. "This is cliche. We both know it's cliche, but I know nothing I will ever do can probably fix this but I will try. I'll try my ass off. I do love you Dave. I'm just a prick. A scared, selfish prick. I'm a coward." Karkat kept his head down, staring down at his boyfriend's feet, which were clad in black socks, to avoid looking at him. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Dave spoke.

"I hate you." Dave whispered out. His tone made it obvious that the comment wasn't genuine and that made Karkat smile.

"That's fine. I hate myself too." The human let out a sad little laugh and sniffled again.

"Come home with me. Please. I don't want you here man. It isn't good for you. No matter how you much you try to convince yourself it is, just trust me. Don't stay. Come home."

No no no no. Stay.

"Okay," Karkat nodded slowly, "I'll go back home with you. I'll go home." The albino smiled and pressed his forehead against his boyfriend's, mumbling a series of thank you's out at rapid speed. "Just let me do something first. Please. I need to say goodbye to the grubs, my grubs, first. I at least need to tell them goodbye. I may not know them but I still have to..." Dave thought for a moment before nodding. It was just a simple goodbye. What harm could it do?

"Yeah. Okay. But just know that if you try to run I will use my shitty time powers and no apology will make me start to forgive you for that one." The troll nodded with a small smile and stood up. Dave stood up as well. "So where do we go?"

"Not we. I. You can't leave the room. You're an alien here. The Empress already expects me to kill you for being a potential threat. I will be back. I promise."

"No Karkat,-"

"Dave. Trust me. I will be back." Trust seemed like the very last thing Dave wanted to give Karkat at the moment but he had no choice. He sat back down and waved his hand to the door.

"I trust you." Karkat grinned and happily walked to the door. Before he left Dave called out to him, "I love you. Even after that."

The troll paused and turned around, replying, "I love you too," before jogging out the room to look for his grubs.