Joie De Virve // Dead Poets Society

16; come

a/n: i'm so bored with my life. all week i've done nothing but sit home. i'm literally the most bored person on the planet as of right now. if anybody wants to hang and I mean anybody seriously hmu because i'm about to die of boredom. this book will be close to over and Neil being gone even in this book is really messing with me like always. anyways enjoy. lots of love, ash❤❤

I tore the white envelope open. It took me a little to convince myself but I did it. The sun was just rising and soon the school day would start and the teachers will expect everything to go back to normal for us but it wasn't. Charlie and Neil were gone and the boys had felt so bad for letting my Grandpa force them to sign about Keating being the reason Neil was dead. Cameron was the only one who didn't feel any slight bit of regret about it seeing as it was his doing.

Dear Evangeline,
I know your not gonna be quite happy with me even if you don't receive this letter. Hopefully my parents have some sanity and make sure it gets to you. I love you with everything I got and as of right now your the only reason for me to stay. I know you said we could make our terrible destined to be futures work but I just can't do it. Thinking about being in school for another 10 years just to accomplish my own fathers dream sounds more like hell to me. Tonight in the play was the happiest I had ever been in my whole beginning of adulthood life. Besides finally getting you to date me. My Dad was unconvinced with my performance anyways and if I didn't make this decision now I was to be taken out of Welton and put into a military school. With that I don't have any reasons to stay. I wouldn't be able to be with you. Maybe only a few letters until my Dad found out I was taking time away from studying to write some girl that wasn't even worth it in his eyes. Go out and make yourself a great life I wouldn't of been able to give you. Be happy and enjoy every second you got. You were the world to me and I know it's almost selfish in way but I can't be here anymore. Keating was the best teacher to ever come into my life and if he didn't I don't think I would be the person I am today. Keating made me understand the reason of living. My father made me understand the reason of why I don't want to live. My father has more say in my life. I love you Evangeline. I left a list of things of mine I want my parents to give to you. Cherish them and make sure you let your kids understand the real reason of living their own life. Your the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on and as I die all I will be thinking about is you. The beautiful soft hair. Glowing hazel eyes. The one dimple on the left side of your smile. I gave you my all and in return you did too. I know you never told me about what happened with your parents but that's okay. It's obvious they are gone in a way and I know I'm leaving to but don't think that everyone you love dies because your to pure to be considered a death causer. Your the most sweetest and innocent person I know and anyone you love is given a new glow to their life. I can't say anymore how much I love you Evangeline. Conquer the world my darling. Sincerely yours, Neil.

Tears streamed off my face and onto the paper. I looked up at the frozen waterfall in front of me. The air was cold and I pulled my pea coat closer to me as a gust of wind blew snow along. I looked to the rock where he first convinced me to jump in. The frozen lake where he swam me around in circles for hours whenever he could. I had to come here to read this letter. I wanted to feel surrounded by him. Last night I even slept on his bed in his old dorm room and no matter how many times my Grandpa tried to get me to leave I refused. Todd promised to take care of me and he did.

I walked back to the school and met up with the boys just as they were leaving breakfast. We all exchanged sad smiles but we all held guilt in our eyes knowing that once we reached english Keating would be gone and it was all our fault. Sitting through all of our classes we still couldn't shake off the guilty feeling. We never planned on the restarting of Dead Poets Society to fire Keating. I knew my Grandpa was gonna take over the english class and it would be a real buzzkill. I looked to my left and saw the empty seat the should've been filled by Neil. A tear slipped down my cheek as I stared. Everyone looked as the door opened. We all quickly stood as my Grandpa entered the room.