Story Reviews

Review for "Just A Science Experiment" by Ohschist

Cover:

The cover could definitely be better. It doesn't relate very well with the cover, it's low resolution, and it's not very eye catchy. I would suggest that the author looks into making a Wattpad book cover on www.Canva.com (super easy to use. I make mine on there) or join the design club where she can consult a designer in there and they can make a cover for her.

Summary:

I love that she added in a little bit from the story itself. I always love it when I read a summary that has a teaser. It's straight forward and to the point. It gives the reader just a little bit of an idea of what is going to happen in her story. Although, I think it could use a little bit more revision and detail.

What I liked about this story:

Just A Science Experiment was definitely interesting. I feel like it was very relatable to the 'everyday life of a teenage girl'. I also appreciated the Harry Potter references and the fact that she used the dreams that the main character had again in the story.

The story itself is Cliche. Now, most people consider this to be a bad thing. I personally, don't mind Cliche stories. Sometimes it's nice to read a story thats cliche. They tend to make you laugh. And this most certainly made me laugh. I love the way the author describes school, like it's this horrible hell that most teenagers think it is. I like that she didn't glaze over how foul us teenagers talk or in this case, write curse words on our lockers. Or how we think our teachers are absolutely preposterous when they yell and we cannot take them seriously. Her writing is very descriptive and I was able to create mental pictures very easily.

I'm also, now a big fan of her character Danielle. Who is fiery (pun intended), sarcastic, and completely badass. Danielle's character made me laugh multiple time. I cannot wait to see more of her in this story.

Weaknesses:

Unfortunately, I found that the story was just poorly written. I feel like this Author had this amazing idea that she just wanted to write down as quickly as she could. The idea and the storyline is great. It truly is interesting. I just find that the author rushed through the beginning to get to her turning point (which is something that even I, as an author, struggle with).

She also has several grammatical error's that I'm finding often in her dialogue. For an example: The author wrote: ' "Okay I'm awake!", I said as I dragged my weary body out of bed. ' The comma should not be A.) Outside of the ""s and B.) She could have put a comma behind 'Okay'. I think this is due to her rushing. I feel like it's an easy fix.

Overall:

I think this author has a fantastic idea going and I cannot wait to read it. I just think she needs to slow down a bit and probably revisit the first 3/4 chapters and revise them. I noticed around 5-7 that she no longer has those grammatical error's, because she was no longer rushing. I just really love how relatable her character's are to an everyday teenager.