Story Reviews

Review for "10 Things I Stole from You" by britishj

Cover:

I think this is cover is super cute. It's great quality. But I don't think it's very eye catchy (just personal opinion), mainly because of the subjects and the how everything is almost the same value, color wise. I think it could probably be better but it's not bad.  I rate it a 7/10. I would suggest that you try making a new cover on Canva.com (super easy to use). Or get a designer from the Multimedia Design club on wattpad to make one for you. Or if you want I can probably make one for you, but please realize I am not a great designer but I know how to work Canva pretty well. 

Summary:

The Summary is pretty good. 8/10. It draws the reader in with just the first couple of sentences. It gives a few details about the plot, which will either draw the readers in or push them way by the end of the summary - entirely based off of their personal taste in books. Personally, I think you should throw in a short teaser from the story itself, to show case how witty Bridger is and how totally uninterested and slightly disgusted Fransen is by Bridger. I think that would be the icing to the cake for your summary.

What I liked about the story:

Please, prepare yourself for me to begin fangirling!

 Before I start, I'd like to say that I admire that you are a British author yet chose to write your story in the state of Virginia. It's definitely a challenge on your end because British culture is so different yet, so alike to American culture. And I really admire that you're challenging yourself as a writer in that aspect.

Okay, so, time to fan-girl. I LOVE THIS STORY!

I love that your characters are so dynamic. 

 Robin Fransen is so typical yet so unlike any teenage girl. She goes to school (which she obviously doesn't really like. But manages) , she plays a sport, she reads, she has "Sisters". Those things are very much typical and totally relatable to any teenager. Yet, she's unlike any teenager (in some ways), because she's a loner and a bit shy. Yet, inside, she has his "I don't give a damn attitude"  and she's sarcastic, which I love because I can totally relate to that. Plus, she reads Classics, not a lot of teens read classics but I am a total sucker for Classics - so I was able to really appreciate that aspect.

And Robin Bridger. Lord, I am in love with this guy!! He's your typical annoying boy at school who likes to bug the ever- living shit out of you, because he wants in your pants. Not to mention that he's British. And in my case, WHO DOESN'T FUCKING LOVE BRITISH GUYS!!?? When I read what he says to Fransen, I can just hear his accent so clearly and I'm mentally swooning. I also love the little nicknames he gives her, "love" and "girly". It just adds to how annoying she thinks he is. I can easily say that Robin Bridger is my favorite character in this story.

Writing wise. Your descriptions of events that are going on are fantastic. It's well written and it makes me feel as if I'm there. And I just feel like I can really get to know your characters through the descriptions. Also, I feel like I laugh the most when I'm reading the descriptions of what Fransen is thinking and feeling. She has these snarky little comments in her head yet, I picture her like this innocent, quiet girl. The irony is real and I love it. I cannot wait to finish reading this story.

Weaknesses:

 Honestly, there are very little error's that I can find in this story. I think as I mentioned to you privately, the biggest weakness in this story going to be the setting. This is mainly because your setting is in the United States whereas, you're from England. This being said, you have to switch off this British-phrased brain of yours and switch on your inner American! Which can be tough. (As I said before, I admire that you are challenging yourself in this way) And sometimes those British phrases tend to seep through in your writing. Such as when you first mentioned that Fransen is a 'soccer' player you said 'football'. (It originally made me wonder if this quiet character was living a double life, and she was some Quarter Back for an American Football team)  Although, that part could just be a part of Fransen's character because I noticed that you corrected that along the way. Also, take note of your spelling too. Us Americans spell some words slightly different than you do. In your story you spelled 'favorite' the British way, with a 'u' after the 'o'. Just be careful of words that have 'U's in them that we delete.

 Along the way, I did notice a few simple grammatical errors nothing major. Those are an easy fix. Once again, there are not many error's and overall it has very few weaknesses. So Good Job!

Overall: 

I love this story and I cannot wait to see where you go with it. But I do think you should revisit your summary and add a bit to it. I think your cover could also use a make over. (Thats just my personal opinion, you don't have to take it to heart.) And I think you should just try your best at maintaining the American side of this story. I think you're doing a fabulous job with it. If you'd like to let your British side out a bit more, let it out through Bridger. Fransen and him could have some serious banter that would make readers like me double over laughing so hard they'd probably piss themselves!

This being said,  this book is awesome and I love it love it love IT!!!! Keep up the great work and hit me up if you need any help. Or have any questions! Get used to seeing my Icon in your notifications!