S T R U M

L I L I E S

LISTEN TO THE MUSIC ABOVE^
*****

"Pinky promise that none of us will cry," I said as we intertwined our pinkies with our foreheads touching.

"I Promise, sweetheart."

I pulled out a small box with a card attached to it and handed it to him as I admired his eyes that shone underneath the string lights on my patio.

"Well go on, open it."

I handed him the present with a little bit of me hoping that he would cry.

The smile that I wore twitched as I saw him take off the top of the gift box and just stare at it.

"Well.."

His fingers moved across the single Lilly that lay in the satin interior and a small purple guitar pick.

"I don't want you to wait for me Reg."

His smile slipped, "what do you mean?"

"Your leaving next week, and I know how these things work, because they don't."

"...."

He didn't speak, and it made my heart thump.

"I want you to experience everything you want to experience, and live....and kiss whoever you want to kiss without thinking about me."

"..."

"And I know you'll do this because you love me and you know that I'm right. I'm doing this because I love you, and because we'll ruin our relationship if we try right now Reggie."

"..."

His face fell In his hands as the spring night air filled the silence.

"Please say something."

"You don't love me."

"I do. Are you craz-"

"No you fucking don't Adalise, because you wouldn't be saying this. You wouldn't be breaking my heart like this."

"No, no Reg, I love you this is why I'm doing this. I want us to have hope for something," I closed the distance as I motioned between us," like what we have now to last. Please believe me Reg."

His head was still buried in his hands as quiet sobs escaped his lips.

Which made my heart shatter at the thought of me being his Lucy all over again.

" I fucking love you Adalise."

" I love you, too," I said placing my hands on his forearms as I watched his distraught figure.

He shook his head at my last comment letting more sobs escape.

I didn't know what to do.

"lilies are your favorite, remember?" I was kneeling now in front of him as I held the single Lilly in my hand before him.

"They used to be."

My heart broke.

He roughly wiped his tears as picked up his keys, "I've gotta go."

My face dropped as I got up quickly watching him grab his jacket.

"Wait, wait, please don't go."

I jumped In front of him wrapping my arms around his torso holding him tight.

"Please, for me."

He let me drag him up to my room which was long and awkward,

and he sat on my bed as he stared at my grey walls which make me want to scream and cry because it was my fault.

So I took off my dress watching it fall at my feet, and then unhooked my bra.

"What are you doing? stop Ada."

I took little steps towards him reaching him before he got up and walked to the opposite side of the room,

Which made me cover my chest in embarrassment and All I wanted to do was hide.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as my eyes stung with salty tears.

He looked over at me sighing heavily as he took of his Americana t-shirt before walking over to me and sliding it over the top of my head.

"How about you go to bed alright sweetheart?"

I nodded quickly as I tried to bite back the tears form embarrassment and rejection.

"Can you please stay with me, please Reggie?"

He simply got into my bed

After slipping off his shoes

and I followed as we both faced each other on top of the sheets.

I could feel his heart beat as I inched closer to him,

And I could see every freckle that dotted his nose

And the blond strands that were few on his head.

So I kissed him, I kissed him hoping that everything that happened would go away, but the sweet moment was cut short when he pulled away.

"I love you Reggie."

He blinked and I could see something in his hazel eyes that made me want to cry, because i had never seen it before.

sadness.

"I love you too Adalise," he said as he brushed pieces of hair out of my face which made me close my eyes and smile small.

and all I could think about was lilies and his beautiful voice.

"Don't ever forget me Reg, please don't. Remember the lilies."

I laughed half asleep and half conscious.

"I could never, sweetheart."

"I'll always remember the first time you called me beautiful, it was in your mustang and we were parked In your driveway. I swear I wanted to run because I knew I was going to fall for you."

"I remember how scared I was, because you were so cool, and you had tons of friend..."
I giggled half asleep.

"You're so beautiful," he caressed my face as I leaned into him.

"If you knew how much I daydreamed about us being together, but I never believed that it would happen."

A tear left my eye and he kissed it away and the ones that followed soon after.

"I fucking hate life right now, because I don't know what to do. You were my first kiss, and I imagined you being my last. And fuck... I don't know."

It's was quiet again, and he stopped stroking my cheek

"I'm so sorry Reg."

~~~

ANY SUPPORT IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!