Letters

Seventeenth Letter

Dear Robin,

We've known each other quiete a while now. We met in a Christian retreat on Summer. How long? I've known you for like 5-6 years. I don't recall. I remember seeing you. I remembered me starting to like you. I felt amazed when I heard you liked girls too. I remember going up a tiny hill on Morton and sitting down and talk about June, a girl, that we both once liked her but she was I don't know. Thing is, each time I spent more time with you, each time I liked you more. I remember asking Loy if you liked me because I liked you. She got so excited. I remember telling you that I liked you, we were singing Christians songs, I mean, the rest of the people, and you were sitting right in front of me. I was so scared.

I remember that the last night, boys would write letters for the girls and vice versa, I didn't need to, you were a girl and you were beside my cabin. I remember falling asleep on you while girls wrote to the boys or were reading the letters of the boys, I don't remember which. I remember the last day, we taking a picture of me kissing you, was it that? Or you kissing me on the cheek, I don't recall, but I had your jacket, which I still do and it's completely mine. I remember you having an Alesana shirt. I remember giving you my second favourite stuffed animal, my wolf Summer.

Each kid was from a church but different places. I thank God, you lived close to me. I guess we started dating, but it was weird, because I think we only saw each other once or twice, but we had a good communication, even though I didn't have a phone.

I remember making you a panda, that's terrible, I find it so ugly, but whatever, you liked it I think. I remember my brother trying with my money to get a blue panda. I called him Seven, because it cost $7 to get it.

I remember inviting you to bowling. And I gave you the Panda and you gave me back my wolf, Summer.

We didn't last long. I made up the excuse that I was being friends with my dad and whatnot. But I was just scared of dissapointing my father, but I loved you very much. I still liked you for like a year more.

My mother didn't like you very much because you looked like a boy and because she didn't want me to be a lesbian or bi? But it was obvious I liked girls or at least that I was tomboy.

Thing is, we ended up being best friends. Weird is, we barely talk to each other. Sometimes I feel I'm crazy for calling you my best friend when we barely know anything about what's going on with each other's lives. I sometimes think that you never say that I'm your best friend, or ever mention me. I mention you a lot and always say that you're my best friend.

I see you as my best friend because you never fought me, my decisions. You are there when I want you to be or need you to be. Although you answer like in a millennia. Kidding, just like a few days.

By the way, I love the spaghetti thing your grandma did. It was delicious.

Continuing on with you. I love you very much. Sometimes I feel like we should hang more or do more stuff together, but your college just doesn't let you. I'm in love with our friendship although it's weird. And I love you a shitload and wouldn't like you leaving my life. It's hard nowadays for me to have friends, but no matter how many times I change of best friend, you are always there and you're stuck with the my best friend.

I'd say we don't have so many difference in tastes. Music, games, shows, clothes, food, even hair. I love your fucking hair. I wish I had it short, but I want it long, so I could look girlish, plus I want it long too because I want to do many things with it.

For your information, there is one thing we do fight about, it's about my wife, Hayley Williams, you still don't understand she's mine. Too bad.

Anyway, I wish I would have grown up in your school at times, you have so many friends that are gay or bi, I wish I would've had the opportunity to discover more and go out more in that environment. Lesbians are the best thing in the world. Say amen with me. OK. I love them, but right now my mind is set. That might be a difference.

I love your style of living. Working hard in your studies. You and your girlfriend are always together like a married couple, I was talking to A about that. I love how mature you have to be or are. I love your vegan life. We should go out more. I need to be myself once a while.

Loves, your best friend, I think, Alondra.