Amnesia

C5: Legacies

The day was pretty quiet following the mornings events.

Steve went shopping for food.

I spent the day drawing and writing down what I remembered about my siblings.

We had dinner and talked about someone he saw earlier in the store.

Normal stuff.

Or at least what I remember about being normal.

Then I started bringing up the questions rolling around in my head all day.

"Hey Steve?" I asked from the couch.

"Hm?" He replied from the counter.

"What ever happened to the Barnes?"

I heard him take a deep breath, so I turned around to look at him.

"Well you probably already assumed your mother died..." He mumbled, trying to avoid my question.

"Yeah but the others Steve? What about Caroline?"

"Caroline..." He looked down.

"Yes Car... Where is she? She must be in like a nursing home by now, right?"

"No... She's dead."

Something in my heart sank. I didn't remember everything about her, but I knew I loved her, and the old Bucky would've been devastated.

"Dead? How?" I whispered.

"Natural causes. She was getting up there, Buck. I went and visited her before a few times."

I frowned and turned around to face the wall disappointed.

"Well the twins are still alive right?"

There was silence behind me, and I didn't care to turn back again.

His silence said it all.

"Bucky..." He started.

"How?" I whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"How?"

"Car accident... They were going out for their 40th birthday, Alex was driving, Anna was in the back with friends... someone was driving drunk and hit them on the drivers side. Alex died on the scene, Anna went into a coma and never woke up."

I shook my head on the verge of tears. In my memories they always looked so happy. Laughing. Smiling. Children. It's hard to think of them being physically older than me.

"How do you know all this?" I mumbled.

"When I got out of the ice, I had a list of things to do... one of them was find your family and tell them what really happened."

What really happened... the train.

"When I started looking for Caroline, she was getting old, losing her mind, in a nursing home. I went and visited her at first but she didn't remember me... so we talked about you, or the pieces she remembered. Eventually she passed away, and so I started looking for the twins. I found them... in Green-Wood Cemetery right next to your mom. I dug up some police reports from my friends at S.H.I.E.L.D. and found the details about the accident. It was awful, they had pictures and medical reports... there were no survivors."

No survivors.

Caroline.

Mom.

Alex.

Anna.

No survivors.

Nobody left of the old Bucky Barnes, but Steve Rogers.

He's the only piece of me that has survived as long as I have.

My family is gone.

"Bucky I'm sorry, they're gone." He said with remorse.

I hung my head and put my hands in my lap. I felt a tear roll down my face... the first time I've cried since Hydra... and it felt nice. It was pain, but it was genuine feelings, and to have that back was what made the difference. I wasn't being tortured, I was losing my family.

He walked over to the couch quietly and sat down beside me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting reality sink in.

Then I felt a familiar warmth.

Steve's arms were around my shoulders and I felt him pull me in closer to his chest. I laid my head on his shoulder, as another tear silently slipped down my face.

"I'm okay Steve." I whispered.

"You don't have to be."

I closed my eyes and let go of him, using my hand to wipe the tears off of my face.

"Thanks Steve, but I'll be okay. There's not much I remember of them, I feel bad, but I don't know why."

"Because you love them."

Well I loved them.

But I don't remember.

I also loved him... I can feel it.

I just don't remember.

"We can go see them some day if you want." He suggested.

Do I want to? No not really.

Do I need to? Probably.

"Okay." I mumbled. "That'd be good."

He put his hand on my shoulder and stood up from the couch. I ran my hands through my hair, and took a deep breath before lying back against the armrest.

Alex. Anna. Caroline... all the Barnes legacies gone. Nothing left.

Or was there?

"Hey Steve?"

"Hm?" He answered, turning around in the doorway of his bedroom.

"Did anyone have any kids?"

"Um well Caroline was never married, Alex had two sons that went into foster care after the accident, and Anna had a daughter. The boys are lost to the wind, but I don't know about the girl..."

Okay so we're not all gone...

"Thanks Steve."

He nodded and headed back into his room.

"I'll be in here if you need me." He called back.

I smiled back and looked up at the ceiling. The boring dim white launched me into thought.

Flashes of Caroline's voice were filling my head.

She was trouble, but she was my sister.

"I was just planning on how to sneak food from downstairs without getting caught... want anything?"

She was persistent.

"Then I'm coming with you."

But she had reason.

"Nobody wants to be alone... especially when you're the only thing he has."

And I never did get to see her again.

"If I don't see you by then... be careful Bucky."

Be careful Bucky.

I should've listened.