Amnesia

C16: Wish

We had watched supernatural all night long, and I could tell he was getting tired. He mumbles when he's tired, and well... he's at the mumbling stage.

I was sitting on my side of the couch, but he was laying on the whole thing, with his head sitting on my lap as he continued to watch with his eyelids fluttering shut every five minutes.

My hand was in his hair, twirling the small strands at the top that stuck out at those odd angles from not being touched all day.

I thought he had completely fallen asleep, but then his groggy voice spoke from below me.

"You know... You look like Sam." He stated.

"Um what?"

"You look like Sam." He reached up and touched my face with his hands.

His fingers ran along my jawbone, until they reached my hair, which he proceeded to push behind my ear. I just let him keep talking, without saying a word.

"Not like the younger Sam, even though he was adorable... more like the older Sam." He said with a smile as he stared up at me.

He ran his fingers through my hair slowly with ease, and continued talking.

"You guys have this long dark hair thing going on, which is totally hot..."

I laughed a little before he kept going.

"And that pretty smile that rarely comes out..."

I smiled at the mention of it, and he pointed up at me.

"Yeah that one."

And then he just looked at me in awe, and I honestly don't know how I didn't lose it then and there.

"But, god, look at those eyes... they're like every color at a different angle... but I guess primarily they stay that blueish tone that reminds me of the sea."

"The sea?" I spoke softly as not to interrupt his thinking.

"Yeah they're that color... but vast and deep... like I could swim in them forever." He replied.

He ran his fingers along the sides of my face and I closed my eyes to feel every second he moved.

I wish this wasn't just you being tired and sick.

I wish I could have this everyday.

I wish I knew you felt how I do.

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered.

"You."

"I wish." He smiled.

No really.

"What do you wish Steve?" I asked quietly.

He looked at the ceiling for a minute and then back to me, clearly thinking about his answer.

"I wish... I wish we could go back to when everything was simple. When all we had was each other, and that's all that mattered... when you were safe and untortured, and whatever you wanted to be. But you were that person with me." He sniffled a little and returned to his thought.

"But now you're not... they took you and they hurt you and I couldn't do a damn thing. They hurt you... my Bucky... and now I wish I'd never been so stubborn."

"I wish I'd have listened to you. I wish we never would've left the house... that we would stay inside and play card games and make each other breakfast knowing that we'd never have to step outside."

I ran my thumb over the side of his cheek and held his hair between my fingers. I smiled at him, trying to ease his thoughts, but I knew exactly how he felt and I wished the same things.

"But now..." he started. "Now I just wish that I can start over again with you. To be the people that we were before the world came crashing down at our feet."

"I agree." I whispered.

"I wish this all went away and all I had to worry about was you." He yawned.

"Someday."

And then someone screamed from the tv, shaking us both out of the conversation. I had completely forgotten we were actually watching something.

His head turned back to the tv and so did mine, shifting onto my hand to support it as I grew tired.

Then Sam came into the scene and Steve pointed him out again.

"See I told you." He mumbled groggily.

"Yeah alright, Dean."

"I am not Dean." He pouted.

"Why is that such a bad thing?"

"Because."

"But just like... look at him." I waved my hand at the screen.

"But Dean can't date Sam."

"But... wait what?"

"Nothing." He replied quickly.

"You don't want to be Dean because he can't date Sam?"

"Well no... yes... I mean it just makes sense to me okay."

"So what if I wasn't Sam...?"

"Then I could be Dean." He said slowly.

If he had turned around in that instant, he would've seen me smirking beyond my wits end. Did Steve just admit that he would date me?

Maybe, but Steve is also doing his sick and tired rambling. I sighed. When am I ever going to win?