Break Out

Chapter Thirteen

Kehlani "Queen" Jackson
My heart had stopped beating and my breathing got shallower and shallower with every passing second. Everything within my vision limit was spinning except for one thing, one person was clear. What wasn't clear was the look on his face.

Joy? Definitely not. But confusion, shock, and even a little bit of anger was adamantly written all over his face.

The silence carried out for what felt like hours when in reality it was only minutes. He had moved from me and began pacing. The breeze from the cool air causing a shiver to run down my spine. I wrapped my arms around myself and looked away from him. "Please say something," my voice cracked.

"What the fuck do you want me to say Kehlani?" He snapped and I winced slightly from his tone. He took a deep breath and asked, "How far along are you?"

"I'm not sure. My first appointment is the day after we get back. I've been putting it off so I could focus on getting you back," I sighed. The tension was growing and I knew I needed to get it out in the open before he could ask. Hearing those words come out of his mouth would break me without question. "Listen, I know it's a lot right now and this isn't how I wanted to tell you. I'll take a DNA test if you'd like." My voice cracked and my throat began to betray me by swelling shut. I could feel his eyes on me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I didn't want him to see the tears falling down my face.

"You don't have to take a test," he said and my head immediately whipped towards him.

"What?"

"I may not know you anymore, I may not trust you, but I trust myself. And I trust that you're not a vindictive person. I trust that you wouldn't use me," he said. The tears were definitely flowing now. Instinctively, I jumped up and hugged him, burying my face in his chest. You could tell he was shocked at first but eventually, I felt his familiar embrace encompass me.

"Thank you," I whispered and squeezed him tighter.

"It's gon' be okay Kehlani. I've lost one child, and I remember that feeling. I don't want to feel that again. We gon' be alright," he soothed and kissed my forehead softly.

"I was just so afraid. Afraid you'd think I was just doing this to keep you around. I didn't want to tell you like this. I wanted you to choose me first."

"Hey look at me," he grabbed my chin and lifted it up so I was staring directly into his eyes. "We'll work through this together. I swear no matter what you'll never be alone."

Looking at him now, with the sun rising and bathing him in soft subtle sunlight, I knew without a doubt that I loved this man. He would only ever be the one for me. And I'd wait forever until the day he could love me back.

***

We stayed up on the beach for a little while longer then decided to head back inside. Our flight wasn't until the afternoon so we had a chance to rest some. When he had dropped me off at the bedroom there was a slight hesitation to his step. He sighed and suggested we try at least laying in the same bed together. I could tell he was a little uncomfortable but if he was willing to try, so was I.

At first things were weird. He stayed on his side and I stayed on mine. But eventually, we gravitated towards one another like we always did. And there I was; wrapped, tangled, and intertwined with him once again. My ear was pressed to his chest so I could listen to the familiar heart beat that soothed me into a calm sleep.

I woke up to his fingers tangled in my hair, rubbing softly. His other hand was behind his head, propping it up slightly so he could look at me. I looked up at him, and for a moment, just a quick one, it was like old times. Waking up to each other. Neither of us caring about morning breath or how we looked. It was about peace; something that we brought to each other.