Chained Up - A Jungkook Fanfic

15. A Rollercoaster Ride

§ Sae Ron §

He unravels me. He always does.

But this time, it feels different. I stand immobile as his lips stir a commotion in me. My tears don't stop falling. Seems like I don't have any control left over my emotions.

For a moment, my mind completely shuts down.

When a stray tear trickles down the corner of my lips and he sips the salty substance, I snap out of my haze, my senses still reeling. Placing my hands on his chest, I try to push him away while my betraying lips yearn to kiss him back.

Jungkook almost takes me by surprise when he pulls away from me without any protest. He takes a step back, giving me space. I should feel relieved but the loss of contact only makes me feel more vulnerable. It takes me a while to brace my unsteady breathing and heightened nerves. I wipe my tears with the back of my hand before looking up at him.

He looks worried and somewhat guilty. His eyes droop down as he says in a small whisper, "Mianhe." After a second's silence, he speaks again, still not meeting my eyes, "I didn't mean to... kiss you. I mean I wanted to kiss you but not like this. It's just that.... you were crying and I couldn't think of what to do. I just... I'm sorry, ok? I shouldn't have done that. You blamed me for not regarding your feelings and I might just have proved you right. You probably hate me now." His head hangs low in guilt.

Holding back a smile, I feel all my anger and frustration slip away. Is this the guy I've been working with the past couple of weeks?! Jungkook has always been impulsive. But the young him was not half as rude as he's now. Perhaps, I'm also to be blamed for his drastic change. Maybe he has the right to be angry. Maybe if I was brave enough to fight for his love five years ago, things would be different today.

But right at this moment, he's pretty much acting like the old Kookie and it suddenly makes me feel more comfortable around him. There are two clear choices in front of me now. I can either go with the flow and let my heart take all the decisions for me or I can repeat my past mistake to drown in regret the rest of my life.

My subconscious has always led me to the same conclusion- to take a chance. It's another thing that I've always rejected that choice in the name of logic and reasoning. This time, however, the words have already escaped my mouth. I have already confessed to him. There's no going back now.

Wiping the remaining traces of tears from my face, I reinforce my resolve. I think I know exactly what to do and I've never been more sure.

"I do hate you," I say, keeping my expression stoic.

He visibly stiffens.

"I- I really am sorry," he clears his throat. "What just happened.... was that....perhaps your um... first kiss?"

I let out a humorless chuckle. "No. Why do you ask?"

This makes Jungkook snap. It only takes a simple "no" from me for his composure to vanish into thin air. As expected.

"No?!" His gaze turns cold with unmistakable fury, his jaw ticking. "What do you mean by no, Sae Ron?! Who the hell kissed you?!"

Watching the sheer effect my words are having on him only amuses me further. My mouth threatens to break out in a smile but I keep that urge in check. I'm not done with Mr. Jeon rude Jungkook......yet.

I notice him clenching and unclenching his fists like someone offended him big time. This guy is too jealous for his own good. I casually walk away from him and flop down on my bed. "Let me ask you this first. You kissed me just now, didn't you?" I cross my arms over my chest, acting more laid-back than I actually am.