The Letters To Her Heart

Chapter 7: Goodbye

The wake was not a piece of cake, it was miserable hell. I had to greet every single person that walked through the door. It wasn't easy listening to the memories people had with her, it just caused me to cry harder. I had enough after the first hour, it was just so depressing and it was sucking the life out of me.

My mom looked beautiful as always. They dressed her in a blue dress like I was wearing and put some makeup on. She looked so peaceful. I prayed two or three times beside her but every time I did, I couldn't get a thought out.

Today is the funeral service and burial. After yesterday, I don't know how in the world I am suppose to do this. I didn't want to get out of bed but the service was at noon. I showered and put on a simple black dress, nothing too fancy. I opened letter number three:

Marissa,

Oh honey, today is going to be a very hard day. I'm sorry I'm gone too soon. I'll always be in your heart though, forever and always.

Love,

Mom

I gasped, the letter slipping out of my fingers, falling to the cold ground. Mom knew she was going to go the day she did. She had all of this planned out. Oh my gosh.

~~~~~

The funeral service lasted a good hour. I sat in the first pew with Cole, Cassandra and Paul (Mr. Greer). My aunts and uncles sat far away from me like they wanted nothing to do with me. My mom's school friends sat behind me, she had a lot of friends after all she was the prom princess her junior year and the prom queen her senior year, her and dad were apparently the school's hottest couple. 

As the funeral procession ended, I watched as the men carried the casket down the aisle and into the hearse. My emotions were everywhere. I wanted my mom back. I wanted to scream, my insides were churning so bad. 

"I'll be in the car." I whispered to Cole and ran to the rover.

"Honey!" Cassandra's heels click clacked along the blacktop parking lot as she chased after me.

"Mom!" Cole whined, chasing after his -sometimes- crazy mother.

I looked back at them before getting into the back of the rover, they can really get on my last nerve sometimes.

They finally came into the car ten minutes later, Paul was thanking the church for the service. Cole quietly got in next to me, his eyes focused on me. Okay then...

The hearse left the parking lot and we followed along with many others. Cassandra was quietly wiping away her tears. I should be crying right now but I'm not, I cried enough for a lifetime.

"What are you thinking right now?" Cole nudged me with his elbow.

I turned to look at him bewildered, what is he serious? What am I thinking? I don't know, maybe my mom!?

"You're delusional." I shook my head in disappointment and leaned my face against the cool window.

"Wait, I'm serious." He said.

I ignored him and shut my eyes as the tears fell down my cheeks. It started to rain which made me even more sad. We arrived at the cemetery not even five minutes later. We parked and all got out of the car silently. I hate funerals.

The mortician lowered my mother's casket in the ground next to my dad. May they rest in peace together. We bowed our heads and said a prayer. 

"Amen." I spoke teary eyed.

Cassandra consoled me into a big hug and rubbed my back.

"Everything will be okay love, I promise." She soothed.

"In fact, Paul, Cole, I think it's time to tell Marissa our decision." She stood proudly with her arm wrapped around me.

My eyes widened, what is she talking about? I froze, waiting for her to release her words.

"Marissa dear, my family and I love you very much and would love to take you in as our own. We've contacted the adoption company and all you have to do is sign a wavier and you're ours." She smiled like it was the answer to all my problems.

"I-I." I stuttered, unable to get the words out.

Cole wobbled on his feet and looked at the ground then back up at me.

"I can't." I broke away from the conversation instantly, bolting for the exit. I kicked off my black heels and ran as fast as I could in the rain, mud hitting my ankles and legs. I ran until I couldn't see them behind me.

When I got home, I quickly gathered my letters and tossed them into a bag along with clothes and necessities, I will no longer be living with the Greer's, I will be taking matters into my own hand.

I glanced at my new room for a quick moment then dashed down the stairs. I didn't even leave them a note, they can figure it out on their own. I'm sure they'll understand eventually. As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I eyed the front door. I have to do this, I have to live a better life than this. My mom would be proud of me, I know she would be. I touched the doorknob ever so slightly and turned it, the now sunny sky welcoming me. I breathed in the fresh rain smell and walked out of the house and down the street.

When I got to the stop sign, I turned my head back to look at their big beautiful house one last time and then, I was gone.