The Letters To Her Heart

Chapter 3: The Decision

Mom was taken by ambulance the next morning to the hospital, she collapsed walking into the kitchen. I haven't left the hospital, the doctors wish that I don't linger in her room right now as they adjust her to the ventilator, they say that's not something I would want to see. So I was waiting right aside her door, pacing in the hallway.

"Marissa dear, are you alright?" One of my mom's nurses put a loving hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, sorry." I stopped pacing and leaned against the wall.

"Don't be sorry, this is stressful." She gave me that old "sorry" smile. I was so sick of the sympathy at this point but I guess it's better than people being brutally rude.

"Marissa, you can come in now if you'd like." Doctor Marshall stuck his head out the door, speaking to me.

I didn't say anything as I walked pass Nurse Nicole and into my mother's room. My heart dropped into my chest as I saw my mother practically lifeless on the bed with a tube stuck down her throat.

"Marissa, since you're the only living family member, you have to make the decision." Doctor Marshall came up to me and whispered.

I gasped in utter horror.

I make the decision if my mom dies or not. I hate seeing her suffer like this and it's only going to get worse.

"Let her go." I said so fast, it almost feels like I hadn't said anything at all.

"You're sure?" I felt Dr. Marshall's eyes laser into my skin, so much pressure.

"Yes." I whispered, walking over to my mother and gently kissing her forehead.

"What will happen to me?" I asked, walking away from my mother.

"Since you won't be eighteen until May 5th of next year, you will be considered a ward to the state of North Carolina." The doctor started to explain and I knew exactly what this meant.

"I'm an orphan?" I gasped. I hadn't really realized that after my mom goes, I'll be alone. Maybe it's because I always thought my mom would pull through.

"Yes, but with it being 2016, we can put you in a foster home. It's sad but nobody will want to adopt a seventeen year old girl. Once you graduate high school, you're pretty much on your own from there. If the foster family likes you though, they could possibly adopt, so it really isn't too bad in the end." Dr. Marshall left the room then to give me some alone time with my mom before he ends her life.

"Mom, I just want you to know that you're amazing and I don't fully understand why God wants you right now but maybe it's for the better. I love you with all my heart and I will never forget you." I stood over her bad, watching her.

"Okay, come in Dr. Marshall." I shouted.

"Are you ready?" He asked before he pulled the tube out of her.

"Yes." I shut my eyes not wanting to watch. 

When the tube was out, I opened my eyes as did my mother. I gasped in sudden hope.

"Marissa." She whispered.

"I'm right here mom." I took her fragile hand into my warm one.

"In my room, there's a pile of papers...they're for you." She croaked out and her eyes fell close.

"Mom?" I felt a hot tear roll down my face as her hand fell out of mine and the beeping of the flat line, ringed my ears.

I stepped away slowly and walked towards Dr. Marshall.

"When will I be leaving to go to a home?" I asked.

"Follow Nicole to the social worker's office, Dr. Thurner will work with you." He opened the door to the hallway. I looked back at my mom one last time before leaving her forever.

"Until I see you again." I whispered as I followed Nicole to Dr. Thurner's office.

"Oh Marissa, so glad you're here! I have a family that wants to take you in!" Dr. Thurner was smiling from ear to ear.

"Already?" I was shocked to the core, I mean I knew that people knew about my situation, I just didn't think they would be so quick to act on it.

"Yes, Cassidy Greer and her family." She said and I just about passed out.

"I'm sorry but did you say Greer? As in Cole freaking Greer?" I nearly shouted.

"Uh yes, that's her son. I assume you know him?" She laughed.

"Know him? Oh gosh, I think I love him." I covered my mouth when I realized what I had just said.

"So will there be a problem with you staying there until graduation?" Dr. Thurner look amused by my little school girl act.

"No, it's perfect. Thank you so much for arranging this." I hugged her tight.

"So when do I move in?" I asked, beaming with happiness. How could I be so happy right now?  My mother just lost her battle to cancer and I'm over here smiling gleefully because I get to live with my crush.

"Well, a police officer will drive you home to gather your belongings and you will be dropped off at their house by late afternoon." She smiled and hugged me before I left.

~~~~~

The officer waited in his car as I gathered my belongings. I ran into the house and my mind was racing with a million different things. The town said they were going to put the house on the market and eventually sell it.

The first room I went into was my mom's. I found the pile of papers she was talking about which was really a stack of envelopes. I didn't think much of it, and shoved them into a bag. I next, packed a suitcase of clothes and then grabbed my toiletries.

I knew I wouldn't have to bring my bed sheets with me because Dr. Thurner explained that Mrs. Greer had that covered for me. I grabbed my flip flops and tossed them into my bag. I couldn't think straight and I could probably come back later in the week if I forgot something. I had all I really need, clothes and the important papers so with that I walked out the back door but an instant flood of memories filled my head. 

I was playing in the mud before breakfast and mom would watch me from the kitchen as she cooked. It was my fifth birthday. The day I visited my father. I would hold onto the memory until the day I die.

I walked off the steps finally and rounded the corner and entered the cop car.

"All good Miss Strong?" He asked in a deep voice.

"Yes."

And with that, we sped down the street to my new home. I was for sure in for something interesting.