The Letters To Her Heart

Chapter 8: Returned

The sunset was just beginning to start and the hairs on my arm stood up, sending a chill down my spine. I just left the real estate agents office, it's official, I can return to my home. The real estate agent said the house never sold so I can secretly hide out in there until someone buys it. It still has it's furniture in there, even my bed. It's like I never left.

I walked up the side steps and turned the knob, hearing the click and walking in. It smelled like her, warm vanilla sugar. I dropped my bag onto the ground and walked through the house like it was my first time moving in. I ran my fingers along the china cabinet, mom's beautiful china still in there. I grazed past some picture frames with our pictures still in them. I picked one up and stroked my thumb across the picture of my mom. I smiled and set it back down.

I eventually went up the stairs and walked into my mom's room first. It's weird because I felt like she was there, sitting on her bed right in front of me. I could almost see her, knitting a sweater or... writing a letter.

As soon as the thought occurred to me, I bolted back down the stairs and shuffled through my bag to find letter number four:

Marissa,

Don't be so hard on yourself dear, it's a rough patch, I know but you'll get through this. Don't beat yourself over this. You need to be surrounded by good people and good things. Remember, he loves you.

Love always,

Mom 

I folded up the letter and sighed. She's right, she always is but this time I just want to be left alone, I'm sure mom would understand. I took my phone out of my bag and it was blowing up non-stop. I had eight voicemail's from Cassandra, and ten texts from Cole. I ignored it all and chucked my phone back into my bag. There's no food here so I'll have to figure that out but money can solve that. Cassandra gave me a big emergency bundle of cash and I would say this calls as an emergency.

~~~~~ 

The search for food was not easy when your face was on every telephone pole. They had a search party for me. I was able to find this convenient store and convince the cashier not to say anything. He didn't seem to even care so I think I'm okay. I sat in an alley way and ate the sandwich I bought for two dollars.

I can't return to school now without the cops showing up, I'll have to drop out my senior year of high school. Wow, I've done it this time. Mom wouldn't be proud, she'd be ashamed of me. I stood up from the yucky alley way and brushed off my pants. I looked both ways before I ran across the street and back to my quiet street. I walked along the side of the street, the night sky upon me now. I'm sure they've given up for the night and are back in their homes sleeping. 

There was this little voice inside of me telling me what I'm doing is wrong and I should just go back to the Greer with their open arms but the other half of me is telling me I need to do this on my own, I've practically been on my own my whole life. Mom got sick when I was ten years old, since then I've been taking care of myself, making sure I got out the door for the school bus, made sure I had a decent meal for dinner.

I decided to just go back to my actual house and sleep on it all. My mattress wasn't as comfortable as I remember it being, it felt cold and hard. I flip flopped all throughout the night, my mind a ticking time bomb.

The morning was here in what felt like a matter of ten minutes. I hardly slept, my hair was a mess and my heart was cold and empty. Before I did anything I opened letter number five:

Marissa,

Do what your heart tells you to do. You'll find your niche eventually.

Love always,

Mom

I folded it up and held it close to my heart, my heart suddenly feeling warmer by the seconds. I have to follow my heart. I stood up from the sheet less bed and swung my bag over my shoulder. Today would begin my new adventure. The good one.

I slowly walked down the street, letting the fresh air and sunlight bounce off my skin. It felt so refreshing, so new. I knew this wasn't going to be easy but I'm never going to give up. I will follow my heart.

I stood a good couple feet from the Greer home's driveway. There were cop cars around the big fountain in the center of the driveway. Don't back down Marissa, you got this. With all the confidence in the world, I opened the gate and walked up the driveway, taking in all the chaos.

There were no cops present in their squad cars so I assumed they were inside the house. I didn't know whether to knock or just walk through the front door so I just opened the door softly and carefully. I didn't see anybody right away so I walked through the foyer and there they were on the back patio, discussing something -probably me- over orange juice and toast.

I carefully slid the screen door and Cole's head turned to face me first.

"You're home!" He picked me off the ground, swinging me around in a hug.

"I'm home." I closed my eyes and held him close.

"Marissa!" Cassandra was in tears, holding Paul's hand.

"Is this her?" One of the cops asked.

"Yes, that's her. Thank you for all your help." Cassandra and Paul walked them to the exit as Cole and I reunited.

"Where were you? You scared us, especially me." He set me down on my feet finally and looked deep into my eyes.

"Cole I can't be apart of your family, I can't be your sister." I just came out with it, once and for all.

"Well that's good because I don't want you to be my sister." He laughed and my heart got warmer instantly.

"We have to tell your parents, if I'm going to stay here, they need to hear the truth." 

"I agree." He held out his hand for me and I took it.

We found Cole's parents in the living room, watching TV.

"Oh you're back dear!" Cassandra ran up from the couch as soon as she saw me. Paul watched me carefully, he saw Cole and I.

"Yes, and I'm sorry for leaving you guys but I had to do some thinking and I don't want to become apart of your family, I'm sorry." I bowed my head down, preparing for my next few words that could possibly destroy my shot of having a second chance of a good life.

"W-why?" Cassandra looked hurt and I felt bad, I really did. But the heart wants what the heart wants.

"I love your son Cassandra." I picked my head up and smiled, Paul also smiling.

"I met him the first day of senior year, before I ever lived here. The day I met him, I knew he meant something special. I can't be apart your family in the way you want me to. I hope you can understand." I was silently praying she would say something already.

"Of course dear. I could see it not only in Cole's eyes but in yours. You're welcome to live here without becoming my daughter." She brought me into one last hug then.

"Thank you, I'd love to take you up on that offer." I smiled a real smile for the first time since my mother's death.

"Oh and don't worry, I'm sure we'll become family sooner than later." I winked and walked away with the biggest smile on my face, mom would be proud, extraordinary proud.