Feel for it

On and On

As Kady woke up, she heard her alarm blare music and she couldn't even open her eyes. Her subconscious was still blank so she tried to go back to sleep and create a dream from thoughts.

In her mind, she imagined Thomas "the Handsome Stranger" walking up to her and talking about their life together.

"Thomas? I need you to come in here and see if you like the suit I made."

"Coming!" Thomas comes strolling into the room "Is this it?"

"W-What do you mean 'is this it?', you best believe this is it." Kady looked at
him with daggers for eyes.

"Ehehehe, it's only a joke. I'm sorry. This suit looks fantastic. Any special occasion that would deem a special suit or were you just bored and thought 'he'd look good in a sleek pinstripe suit in the market or the cinema'?"

"Haha, yes. Tonight, we have reservations at the restaurant that opened down the block." She smirked as Thomas stared at the calendar right by their window .

"Well then, formal it is." Thomas turned to Kady, took her hand and gave a chaste kiss on the knuckles "I'll make sure to be on my best behavior." he reassured . There was a subtle but noticeable glint of mischief in his eyes so Kady pinched his side.
"Ehehe," his smile widened "ow, Darling, it's alright. I promise I won't do anything."

"Cross your hearts?"

"Yours and mine, Love."

* ~Heeeeat of the mooment, telling me what your heart meeeeant~*

She shut off her alarm with more force than she thought and the clock shut off. Groaning, turning, mumbling a few curse words and she was off. She got up, shuffled to the restroom and began her early routine.
1.PEE!
2.Brush teeth and fix hair (run hands over with water and hope for the best)
3.Change clothes to clothes that don't smell like feet and gross adult
4.Sit butt in chair and try typing feelings
Once what was there was almost finished, she sat her butt down and opened a new document to start. She was still completely blank to the beginning of her story so she tried it in reverse, taking some old critic advice and writing the ending to see if she even liked it.

"...and they lived happily ever after."

That was all that her mind could think of and it was the worst thing to try making that ending.Who was she kidding, she was never going to finish- or even start- the story, so she started watching a movie from her laptop and dozed off.
It was only 10:06 in the morning and she wanted to crawl in a hole and lay her head down to keep from getting massive headaches.
It was hard for her to keep her mind from running but once it was running, there was no stopping it unless... Kady got up and walked to the kitchen cupboard in search for her sleepy-time best friend. Benadryl. 1-2 spoon fulls were supposed to be perfect but she knew she wanted some deep sleep so she took 3 full spoons and guzzled it down. Grape tasted like crap but it got the job done, since she was conked out after a few minutes. It was the best sleep she'd gotten in months.
Thinking about how her life was supposed to be and what reality decided to dish out was completely wrong. She wanted to randomly walk up to the man of her dreams by pure coincidence, have him see something that she "couldn't see in herself", and fall madly in love with him living happily ever after.
But no, instead she got the short end of the life stick. She wasn't there when God- or whatever deity was at work- was handing out the happily ever afters. Whatever analogy could be thought of most likely pertained to her. And yet no matter what happened in her life, the thought of marrying that handsome stranger was always inspiration to do better.
Kady stared blankly at the words on her screen as though writing a book was as easy as sitting down and putting down words but she couldn't seem to concentrate. Maybe it was the movie playing on the side of her screen as her thought process began to diminish or it was just the fact that she was no good.
No matter the fact, she knew somewhere in her mind that she would never be able to become this image of a wife, not even typing it on a screen at 11:41pm was going to change that. She sat back and reread everything that she had written and sighed. It was a truth that stung her pretty hard but the hope was still going to linger in the back of her mind.
Once she was able to stop typing and dreaming, she turned off her computer and sat quietly in her room feeling like she always does, like a person who has not been able to accomplish close to anything in her life. She sulked right against her white wood bedpost and felt her chest tighten again. Days like this she really hoped that she could just stop breathing so she could sleep her life away knowing her "handsome stranger" would finally see her in her dreams for good.
Then she thought about all the effects that would come out of that and those pulled her from the negative thinking. How would my grandma and grandpa feel? Mom and Dad? How would my brother be without me? Once it rang around midnight, she cried. Cried hard.
Why was she the way she was?
How come she was the only one like that?
Maybe she wasn't but at that very moment, the world seemed so bleak and bare that it was hard to think through the tears. She curled up with her plush grumpy cat Oscar and began to drift into the endless night hoping that the man of her dreams was going to be able to pull her towards him and whisper how it will be all right.
Sad to say that her dream was blank... She was slowly losing hope...

As Kady woke up from her sleep, she felt different. Not in a "I'm going to be sick" way but more in the "my mind's clear" way. She didn't know why but somehow she felt as though that she could conquer the world. Maybe it was the Benadryl but she didn't care, it was a feeling she was just not used to.
She got up from her bed and started her routine again but this time, she tossed everything into the trash, pulling out another To Do list.

JAN--20**
1. Get up and get small stuff done
2. Call work for 2 weeks of vacation
3. Pack a travel bag
4. Buy a ticket to London
5. Set up a babysitter for the pups
*Take typewriter to broaden ideas*
Kady sat up from writing and couldn't even begin to believe that she had written anything like that but somehow she knew she felt confident enough to follow through. Today was the beginning of a life-changer.

After the whole list was complete, Kady looked at everything and made sure she wasn't missing anything. She even made sure to call ahead and get a decent room at The Greyhound Cottage for 44 pounds or 62 dollars, so that seemed reasonable enough for her. All this research and yet it had only hit her how real this was when she had called her parents.

*boopboopboopboop...boopboopboop-*

"Hello? Kady? Hey sweetie, how's it going?"

"It's going, it's going... Um, listen, I wanted to know if there was anyway you could visit the house for two weeks and take care of the pups."

"What, why? Are you okay?"

"W-what yeah, no, yeah I'm fine. I'm just leaving somewhere for a couple of weeks to kind of work on inspiring crap." Kady couldn't help but worry on the pause her mother made for those brief seconds.

"That sounds great, to where?"

"...London."

"..."

Kady waited again but for a split second just thought of not going at all until her mother began talking. "Wow! Sounds great. Get some priceless pictures to bring home, we'd love to see them."

"Oh. Well, okay, so the pups? Can you?"

"Oh yeah, yeah, I'll make sure to keep them alive hahaha."

"No, no. No 'hahaha', keep them alive AND well please."

'Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love you sweetie and have fun."

Kady had hung up the phone and that was it. That phone call had assured her that this was what she needed to do and she figured everything was going to be fine. Unless she was robbed, stabbed, raped, or murdered.
This was why she should have never watched the creepy movies her father recommended, especially when she was deciding now to actually visit another place she was not used to.
With her father being in the military and mother having more travel experience than a tourist on Expedia, she was raised to be wary and that she was.
She sat down and stared at everything in the room and couldn't help but smile. She was doing it. Going to places that she would remember and be able to remember for as long as she lived. It was almost as though a piece of her life was being filled with this joy, excitement, and surge of energy as she thought of all the things she wanted to do there.
She wanted to meet people with some heavy accents so she could practice hers, eat a crap load of food that she couldn't even pronounce, and even drive on the other side side of the road because that was what they do. Reading online, Kady found some articles and found rules on the road and whatnot so she didn't look like a total dork but it was well worth it because this was the day her two weeks of happiness would finally start.
As the night grew dimmer, she fed her pups and made sure to fix everything and write down what they needed for her mother. "Loki, stop biting the couch." "Tony get off Steve, this isn't the Avengers." "Dean, same for you! Off Cas." The other pups were fine so she got them all to bed and crawled into her bed herself. Her mind was reeling at all the possibilities but she knew better than to work her hopes up so she quietly tried to calm her breathing.
Watching her chest slowly heave up and down slower calmed her and by the time she was about to sleep, her dreams were more vivid than anything she thought plausible.

"Tomorrow's gonna be perfect..."

Her dreams continued with the same man she's always seen but this time his hand was out for her. She gladly took it.

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