Alone

Okay

Pain woke me up. The room was still black and the pain was coming from something slightly heavy resting on my burnt skin. My hand drifted up to feel a long arm draped over me causing the pain. I didn't want to move his arm, but I wouldn't have been able to go back to sleep if I didn't.

I lifted his arm gently and placed it back over on his side of the bed before turning over to face him. My eyes were adjusting to the darkness and sleepiness.

His mouth hung slightly open as he slept and I could see the little chip in one of his two front teeth and his two freckles that would surround his dimple if it were frowning His hair looked slightly greasy as if he'd skipped a day showering and it stuck up all over in a mix of straight, curly, and slightly wavy pieces against the pillow.

He was pretty, that was for sure, but he was twenty five and I was only about to turn eighteen. Even if he found me attractive and decided he would want to be with me in this hell, it wouldn't have ever of worked out in the normal world. The age difference would have been too much, I would have been too young for him, people would have said some bad things about him and it would have possibly hurt his career, it just wouldn't have worked. If it wouldn't have worked out in the real world then I wouldn't want it to now, and if he did have a thing for me, it was probably because he thought he didn't have much of a choice in women, or anyone else for that matter now.

The feeling of just being settled for didn't sit well with me. I had to find someone else, whether it be someone that he would like better than me or someone who I thought wasn't going to just settle for me.

What was I doing? I was up in the middle of the night just staring at Dan's face and over thinking things. I rolled back over in bed so I wasn't facing him anymore and closed my eyes.

"BREAKFAST!"
I sat straight up in my bed so violently it hurt my burns.

"Fucking what the fuck!" I gasped and saw Dan standing fully dressed in the doorway holding a tray and grinning most likely at the way I woke up.

"Jesus Christ." I sighed.

"I made you breakfast." He chuckled.

"You didn't have to."

"Well you aren't in proper working order yet, so you couldn't. Plus you can't cook so..." He said as he brought over the tray and placed it on the bed.

"I feel a lot better today."

"I was about to ask." He said as he took one of the plates on the tray and gave me the a plate before getting into bed and sitting down.

"You're eating with me?" I said feeling a little surprised.

"I don't have to, I just thought it was convenient." He shrugged.

"It is." I agreed. We both ate quietly for the longest time but I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Are you okay?" He asked suddenly. Had he forgotten that I had just told him I was feeling better. I was confused.

"Huh?" The confusion left my lips. "I just told you I felt better?"

"No, like, are you okay? Like, mentally from the desert, I think that's what I'm trying to say. I don't mean it offensively or anything, you were just out there a while."

"Yeah, I guess I'm okay." I hadn't really thought about it.

"You seem... I don't know, a little different I suppose."

"How?" I asked.

"Just quieter really."

"Oh." Was my only response.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I'm not going to make fun of you or judge you for it, I don't care what it is. You were alone for a while and it was dark, open, you were starving, and you almost died. That's a lot for someone to just keep all bottled up."

"It wasn't too bad except for almost dying." I wasn't lying, I'd do it again because it was a real eye opening experience. "I know, thanks for offering by the way."

"You weren't scared when it got dark or anything?" He seemed like he didn't believe it.

"I was a little at first, but it was alright."

"Look, I don't think you're a child if you were, you don't have to-"

"The dark was fine. I'm not lying to you, it just wasn't too bad. It's not that I don't want to talk about it either, it just there's not much to talk about." I was worried that sounded kind of harsh so I added a small laugh along with reassuring words. "The desert didn't fuck me up Dan, well not mentally anyway."

"Okay, I believe you." He laughed back.

We finished eating when he asked if I'd be okay for a little while while he went out and did some things, except the word 'things' was jokingly replaced with 'clubbing mammoths'. I assured him again that I was fine.

I used this day to myself to really bathe scrub my whole body and apply more aloe gel. I felt much better by the time he knocked on my door, I answered it to see him standing there in pajamas.

"Hi" I was a little confused because it had been a full thirty seconds and he had said nothing.

"Hey, you ready for bed?" He asked and my confusion only lasted another moment before I got it.

"You really don't have to sleep here anymore." I tried to be as nice as I possibly could about it. "I was fine all night last night and today, do I'll probably be fine tonight too."

"Oh. Alright. I understand" he said as he rapidly blinked a few times.

"Dan, I don't mean to-"

"No, it's fine, if you say you'll be fine then you'll be fine. Do you need help with the aloe gel?"

"No, I already did it. Thank you though."

"O-okay." He stuttered before turning around and going to his room.

Why is he acting like this? I had no idea as to why he'd be acting this weird.

He likes you.
A thought said. I went back over the reasons as to why I knew he didn't and if he did why I shouldn't like him back, putting my brain back into check.

I didn't understand why Dan wanted to stay here either, he almost clung to this hotel like a safety net, only leaving for small periods of time through the day. I didn't understand why he had just settled here. He seemed to be happy here though, he enjoyed the large kitchen and freezers, the generators that worked, it was like this place was his shelter because it was the only one that worked for him. I was glad he was happy here, I was glad he didn't have to go too far to find a makeshift home.

It was hard to sleep tonight because of all the thoughts and decisions that had flooded my brain.

Maybe Dan was right, maybe my mind did change in the desert, maybe not in a bad or crazy way.

I had a lot to think about.

Edited by Josiemakattack198