Best friends

Hiiiiiiiii, my name is sky parks I am 18 years old born 1995 my favourite colour is blue my beat friends are Justin bieber Chaz Somers and Ryan butler I don't have a favourite food because I don't eat I have always gotten bullied they call me fat worthless bitch whore slut slag you name it they said it they tell me I should die and I don't deserve to live trust me I have tried but it never works Chaz and Ryan both know I get bullied and they are the only ones that know my secret....

*flashback*

I couldn't handle it, it's gotten worse what did I ever do to deserve this? I slid the blade across my wrist making sure it was deep enough I deserved this pain

1 cut because I'm a bitch

2 cuts because I'm fat

3 cuts because I'm a whore

4 cuts I'm ugly

5 cuts because I'm a slut

6 cuts because I'm slag

7 cuts because I'm trash

8 cuts because no one loves me

9 cuts because I was a mistake

10 cuts because I'm worthless

11 cuts because I deserve to die!

The door slammed open to reveal Chaz he saw my arms and his eyes went wide in shock he just stood there and stared and me

"I know I'm ugly but you don't need to stare" I said with no emotion he still didn't move until Ryan came behind him I saw tears well up in his eyes as he rushed over to me

"Why sky why did you do this?" his voice was soft

"Because I deserve to die like everyone said I was a mistake it's true and this-" pointing at the razor blade in my hand "-this takes the pain away for a little while" it was the truth it's my pain reliever well for a whole it is.

*end of flashback*

That was when I was 14 I still do it to this day. I'm still bullied accept its worse Ryan and Chaz aren't in all of my lessons so they don't know how bad it can get.

I just got home from school it was horrible I got kicked several times it hurts. Ryan and Chaz decided to come to mine today they sat down and watched tv while I excused my self and went straight to my bathroom and locked the door i saw the blade and instantly reached for it my thighs and my arms and covered with scares I looked and them and started to make some more stared at the blood dripping down my arms and legs

"SKY OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!!!!" do they know what Im doing oh well they can't get to me I thought and I made even more

"Sky please open the door don't do this"

"SKY PLEASE!!! DDON'T

"SKY OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR!!!! BEFORE I KICK IT OPEN!" I quickly cleaned up the blood and blade and walked out the room like nothing happened.

"Sky please tell me you didn't do what I thought you did in there?" Ryan said with pleading eyes I could look at him so I looked down. He just gasped like he could read my mind.

"Sky Justin is coming back home tomorrow does he know?" I just shook my head words couldn't come out I my mouth I made Ryan and Chaz disappointed there ashamed of me.

"I think you should tell him" Chaz spoke up "he deserves to know your best friends"

"No I can't tell him he will leave me I know he will he will be disappointed in me like you two are he doesn't know anything that I'm doing all he knows is that I'm bullied and that's all he is going to know I can't risk loosing him I can't I just can't" I tried to keep back my tears I don't cry in front of anyone. I pulled out of his grasp and ran out of the room.