{completed}☆I Am Who I Am☆

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star

It's been about three months since I've been out of the hospital. I heard Niall was out too. I wanted to go see him, but I didn't. The guys are going on a weekend trip. So I have the house to myself. It's also a good time to just end everything. I pulled out my phone and text Niall. He'd given me his number the second day he was here. "In case of emergencies." He had said.

To Niall:

Hey Niall. I just wanted to tell you goodbye. I can't take anymore bullshit. I'm leaving. Goodbye. Niall I know we haven't known each other long, I just wanted to tell you I loved you. I still do. That's why I'm even bothering to write this. I'm not even texting the guys.

Goodbye Niall.

×°×star×°×

I pushed send and turned my phone off. I went to my kitchen, for a last meal. It sounds weird but I need the energy to kill myself.

niall

My phone beeped and I looked at the screen. The number looked familiar so I looked at the message. After I read it I grabbed my keys and ran out the door.

Star

After my meal I grabbed a knife and I went to sit at the top of my stairs. The guys wouldn't find me for a day or so. So it was the perfect chance. I've been waiting for this moment in so long. I sat on the steps and decided on how to do this. Cutting until I bled out would be original. "Falling" down the stairs is just to easy. I took the knife in my hands and ran in over my fingers. I didn't feel much, due to all the rings I wore. I did about 7 cuts on each of my fingers on my right hand. Then I took the blade in my right hand and did the same. I took my sweats off and threw them at the stairs. I looked at my legs. They had old and new scars. I took the time to cut each cut. New and old. By the time I quite I was in tears. I thought I heard something but I couldn't be sure. Due to the sound of my cries I wasn't sure. I took my hair down from its pony tail and I shook around. Personally I hate my hair. It was too curly. It was too red. I put the knife to my throat. The blood from my fingers dripped off my hand and on my chest. This must be a sight. Me with bloody hands holding a knife to my throat and crying, in only girls boxers, and a white tank top. I pressed the knife deeper, hoping to break skin. I was about to when my door burst open.

niall

I opened her door to see her. She was sitting at the top of the stairs, barely wearing anything. Her thighs were all bloody and her hands were. She held something to her throat. She was also crying. I saw her arm move back, then I saw the knife. I ran up the small set of stairs and I took the knife, I threw it. She started crying even harder. I held her to my chest. "I don't want to be here anymore! Why'd you stop me?" She sobbed wiggling in my arms. I held her tight shushing her. Eventually she quit moving but was only crying. I picked her up in my arms. Her legs wrapped around my waist and her head on my shoulder as I found her bedroom. I looked to see if there was a shower. There was. I walked over to her bathroom and I set her on the counter. She was still crying. I turned on her shower and I looked at her. She was covered in blood. Most of it was dry. I touched the water. It was warm enough for a bath. I walked over to her, taking her tank top off. She was still crying and saying stuff about how she wanted to leave and I should've let her do it. I bit my lip and thought if I should take her under clothes off. "Star, I am going to give you a bath. Okay?" I asked her, like she was a child. Cause let's face it. She was thinking like a crazy person. She just looked at me. Then she nodded. "I need you to undress yourself though love." I added slowly. I really didn't want to freak her out. She sniffed and said, "You'll have to." I raised an eyebrow and said, "Why love?" She looked at me with those big green eyes and said, "I can't move." I nodded and stood in between her legs. Her head was level with mine now. I put my hands on her waist and moved then to her back. I touched the hem of her tank top and looked at her. She just shrugged as if to say, 'go ahead I don't care' I took it off, not looking at her. "Can you take those off?" I asked touching her hip, where the band of her boy cut panties lay. She shook her head and said, "My thighs they're to big to fit down them." I looked at her and said, "Do you want me to just cut them off you?" She leaned forward a bit and her face was in my neck. I could feel her breath on my collar bone. For some reason I was slightly turned on, what is wrong with me Jesus Christ. "Promise you won't hurt me?" I heard her breath out. "I promise I won't her you love. I swear it." I answered her. I felt something on my neck. Then I realized she'd kissed my neck. "You can cut them." She said. Her voice shaking a bit. "I can give you a bath how you look right now if you don't want me to see you." I said as her arms went around me. I was so confused. "That'd be weird. No one takes a bath in their underwear." She said, laughing a bit. "You can." I said. She shook her head and said, "You can take them off. No one has ever seen me like this before though." She admitted. I nodded and said, "Okay. Wrap your legs around me so I can take them off." I said. Her legs wrapped around my waist and I pulled her off the counter so I could take them off for her. Honestly I felt weird. I've never felt weird taking off girls clothes. When they reached her knees I put her back on the counter and said, "Do you still want me to do this?" She nodded, tired, probably from loss of blood. I looked into her eyes as I pulled off her panties. Still, in this state, she's never looked so beautiful. "Wrap your legs around me so I can get you into the tub." I said. Her legs wrapped around me again and I felt her front against mine. I turned around and I set her in the water. I had put bubbles in the water, so I didn't see anything. She looked at me and said, "Why did you stop me? Why didn't you just let me kill myself.?" I know I couldn't tell her I loved her. So I went with, "I'm not letting you do something stupid. Especially when so many people care for you. Harry. Your boyfriend." The word tasted like vinegar in my mouth. "I don't have a boyfriend. " she said looking at me. I picked up a loofa and said, "Give me your leg." Her leg lifted up. I took the loofa, running it up and down her leg. Then I did the other.

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I just finished getting her dressed. Now she was laying in her bed, half asleep, and weak from blood loss. I cleaned up her bathroom and mopped the stairs. Getting the bloodstains out of the tile. I cleaned the knife and put it away. Then I walked back into her room. She was sleeping.

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I woke up to a voice. Well a lot of voices. "Should we wake them up?" One said. "Hell yes. I want to know why he's in my house with my little sister." Then I was pushed and I landed on the floor. "What the hell?" I asked opening my eyes. When I did I saw four pairs of eyes looking at me. Anger in each and every pupil.

Hey guys! I hope you liked this chapter! I don't know how long it is because I'm on my tablet so yea.

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Skyelee♥