|Beauty Behind the Madness Z.M.|

~and ill be wearing white when i come into your kingdom~

dear diary,

im so tired of this aching feeling in my chest. i know he's not waking up anytime soon. it's been four months and he's still in the hospital-laying on the bed with light snores escaping his pink lips.

i miss his smile. his laugh. i miss the way his hand fit as if they were made just for me. I miss the way our lips molded together perfectly. he was my other half and i'll be damned if they let him die.

"i'm sorry about your loss.." he says out of no where,taking me out of my trance like daydream. we were at the cemetery,burying my grandmother.

"it's not your fault."

"i can still feel bad about it.."

"you shouldn't be. i didn't really know her.." i reassure,talking about my grandmother. i sit next to him on the black bench,my dress hiking up to my thighs as i swing my legs back and forth in a childlike manner.

"so what's next?"

"go forth for the funeral has ended."

"you look really..pretty."

"was that a question or a complime-" he didn't even let me finish my sentence. he pressed his lips,which were rough in texture,to mine. i smile against his lips,feeling butterflies in my stomach. it was quite an uncomfortable feeling. for the first time,i had realized just how much zayn meant to me. i realized that i had been craving him for nearly two weeks. he was like a drug-addicting and something i never want to let go of.